Tales of Taromeet

"Where poor people are treated like the enemy..."

2011-11-03T17:47:00.000-04:00

It's a tight race between this song and "This F***ing Job" by Drive-By Truckers for my nomination for our new national anthem.
I can't find a great video of her performing this song (here's one though), so here are the lyrics. In fairness, here are the DBT lyrics.
Released back in 1996 and just as damned spot on perfect today as ever.
Given the report out from Brookings regarding the reemergence of concentrated poverty in this country (well worth anyone's time), seems a fitting song for the day.

Iris DeMent, "Living in the Wasteland of the Free"

We got preachers dealing in politics and diamond mines
and their speech is growing increasingly unkind
They say they are Christ's disciples
but they don't look like Jesus to me
and it feels like I am living in the wasteland of the free

We got politicians running races on corporate cash
Now don't tell me they don't turn around and kiss them peoples' ass
You may call me old-fashioned
but that don't fit my picture of a true democracy
and it feels like I am living in the wasteland of the free

We got CEO's making two hundred times the workers' pay
but they'll fight like hell against raising the minimum wage
and If you don't like it, mister, they'll ship your job
to some third-world country 'cross the sea
and it feels like I am living in the wasteland of the free

Living in the wasteland of the free
where the poor have now become the enemy
Let's blame our troubles on the weak ones
Sounds like some kind of Hitler remedy
Living in the wasteland of the free

We got little kids with guns fighting inner city wars
So what do we do, we put these little kids behind prison doors
and we call ourselves the advanced civilization
that sounds like crap to me
and it feels like I am living in the wasteland of the free

We got high-school kids running 'round in Calvin Klein and Guess
who cannot pass a sixth-grade reading test
but if you ask them, they can tell you
the name of every crotch on MTV
and it feels like I am living in the wasteland of the free

We kill for oil, then we throw a party when we win
Some guy refuses to fight, and we call that the sin
but he's standing up for what he believes in
and that seems pretty damned American to me
and it feels like I am living in the wasteland of the free

Living in the wasteland of the free
where the poor have now become the enemy
Let's blame our troubles on the weak ones
Sounds like some kind of Hitler remedy
Living in the wasteland of the free

While we sit gloating in our greatness
justice is sinking to the bottom of the sea
Living in the wasteland of the free
Living in the wasteland of the free
Living in the wasteland of the free

Peace/سلام

Visual Aids

2011-10-08T08:01:00.003-04:00

Modern Living II, a photo by Taromeet on Flickr.

Been on a bit of a writing tear, working on some stories that have been festering in my head for too long. Also been out in the wilds backpacking. Until I string some words together here, I'll try to placate you with some new images over on my Flickr page.
Peace/سلام

A Must-Read

2011-09-15T13:18:00.000-04:00

This was shared by a friend and though I posted it to Twitter and FB, I believe it needs to be read. Please pass it along.
Know your rights.

Some real Shock and Awe: Racially profiled and cuffed in Detroit

New (old) city, new start...

2011-09-11T15:02:00.001-04:00

Reading: Sandman Vol 1 by Gaiman, et al; Regeneration Through Violence by Slotkin; Reading Like a Writer by Prose
Listening to: Lots of Woody Guthrie (as always); Mitch Barrett
Recently enjoyed: Clear Creek (KY) Festival '11

I've sort of flown the white flag on today, but that's alright. My playing hermit today will hopefully help me finally get started with some sort of routine to help me get some things moving in life, not the least of which being my own physical form.

Things have come some sort of full-circle and I'm back in Louisville, where I lived when I started this blog in 2005. I was offered a position with a scrappy community center on the southside that serves a low-income neighborhood that has a significant refugee population. The director, very much an old-school, roll-up-your-sleeves sort of social worker, knows me well and offered an immediate solution with some interesting possibilities for the future. I'll be stepping back and working the office, for now, while also taking on a slew of projects large and small. Over the next several months I'll be transitioning into the position of Community & Family Liaison. Other than getting me back out in the community, the position is a new one for the center and I'll get to have a say shaping just what my role will be. What I do know is that I'll be working with the local international community; families who use our center; city, state & agency/nonprofit representatives and more. I'll be blogging more about our programs and future goals and plans as I go.

For the foreseeable future I am actually living at the center, which used to be a small Catholic school. The living quarters were for the nuns and everyone still refers to it as the convent. That I, once referred to by a nun at school as the "Spawn of Satan," am now living in a convent (former though it may be), is a source of amusement to many. Two Americorps volunteers live in the apartment as well and it all seems to work alright. It's actually a nice space and having grown out of a certain level of materialism I truly enjoy the limited space. The whole thing feels very Jane Adams/Hull House-ish at times, which is a good thing in my book.

In addition to work, I'm trying to settle in, get involved, develop a better practice of writing, and work on my photography. And I'm trying to remember to be patient with myself and the universe. I am really trying. It's nice to reconnect with the family I have here and start making new connections. I miss my ocean and my Glades, but I just couldn't find work in Florida (at least in my areas). While many complain that Louisville is a big small town, that can actually be really helpful in times like these. Add to that a great cost-of-living, active arts & activist communities, a significantly diverse international population, some amazing architecture (which I'll get around to shooting soon), and a truly local economy (locals supporting locals), it wasn't a hard decision to say "yes."

Having jumped straight into work about eight hours after arriving in town, I think today everything sort of caught up to me. Well, that and all the asado I ate at my cousin's house last night...and likely the small, but heavy desk I moved upstairs & into my room late last night. Or maybe it's the many changes, wins, loses & draws I've experienced personally over the last ten years. To quote Henry Jones, Jr., PhD: "It's not the years; it's the mileage."

For now, it's time to brew some tea and crack a book for pleasure.
Peace/سلام

Finally!

2011-08-25T12:13:00.001-04:00

Pondering lightly: Is Kovarian actually an aged Amy, at war with the Doctor and sending her daughter against him, blaming him for all she's lost in some timeline? And, something about wiping out the Silence just doesn't feel right to me. None of you know what I'm talking about, right? *sigh* Saturday, people. Saturday.

Enjoying: Irene's feeder bands and walking over to gawk at a stormy sea. Also hoping the good folks in the Bahamas made it through alright.

Car will finally be ready at the dealership tomorrow, so picking it up that evening and hitting the road for new territories and gainful employment this weekend. More news to come once I arrive at my destination. Epic day of solo driving on tap.
Cheers all.

A bit more flux

2011-08-18T21:54:00.001-04:00

Excuse the mess as I rejigger things on the blog. I'll get everything sorted soon-ish.

I made the decision on my very own this evening to leave the state for the small city job. When I lined up everything in the here and there - the place, the job, the community, the possibilities... - the decision was vastly easier. It'll be a slim year, but a good start.

So, I'll likely leave the middle of next week. I'll share more details as I get them. I feel good about the decision, but it'll take a little time to sink in.
Peace/سلام

I wear a jetpack now. Jetpacks are cool.

2011-08-18T17:57:00.005-04:00

This turned up on the Interwebs somewhere and I adore it. Science fiction. historical fiction. Dragons and aliens and faraway, never before places! Oh my! If it's good, it's just good fiction. Read (or watch or listen to) something you wouldn't normally reach for on the shelf and you may discover something wonderful.

Further dispatches from the job front

2011-08-18T17:51:00.000-04:00

Another update from yet another fellow grad:

"Submitted a bunch of job applications to the cruel gaping maw of the employment market. Hopefully they won't get lost in the ether like the last two dozen."

Meanwhile, I remain in limbo for another day. The out of state job awaits and they need an answer, but I am still trying to get a decision out of the job here in my home state. I refuse to get backed into a situation where I end up with no job at all, but feel like I'm walking the edge on this. Making calls and everything will be sorted one way or another in the morning. I've just been in an utter fog this week. Even reading, which usually is a huge help to me in rough times, has been a challenge.

Fish or cut bait, world!
Peace/سلام

Bit of nonsense

2011-08-16T15:19:00.003-04:00

So, I had to give in and buy a car after six years of traipsing about. Sadly, they're still quite a necessity in the hard-headed, auto-centric U.S. Settled on a Honda Fit: reliable, affordable, decent footprint. It'll be here by next week.

Just had to add this, as a nearly life-long Whovian: Somebody at Honda is a Doctor Who fan. Seriously. The color of my car is called Vortex Blue and is basically pearly TARDIS blue. And it's bigger on the inside.
Didn't put it together until now, but...
I am amused.

A Conundrum (Well, not quite yet.)

2011-08-15T14:52:00.002-04:00

I may have two options for employment. Finally. However, between the two rises a dilemma.

The first position would be with a small, but successful community organization primarily serving immigrants and refugees. It would be back in a nice small city I worked in before moving to Syria in 2006. Actually, the job they think I'm a perfect fit for won't be available until next summer. In the mean time, I'll run the front desk and take on a bunch of other things that need doing. The job next year would involve working with refugee families and the community at-large. It would be a creative, interesting, satisfying job in a really lovely community.

The second remains only a possibility at the moment. I received a call from our local school district this morning inviting me to interview for a position on the crisis intervention team, part of their Safe Schools department. I would be part of a group that works to create safe, healthy schools. In my preliminary interview, with four members of the team, they described their job as one where you work with everyone from students and their families to the district superintendent. It's a multifaceted approach drawing on community work, data analysis, policy work. They may work with one school for just a month, but another for the whole year. You may be assigned to a school, but you'll also be working at other schools throughout the district. Though not an subject I've worked on, it does sound interesting. At the last second, after accepting the non-profit job, I was called back in for a second interview for this position.

The hitch is really one for any of us wanting to work in non-profits: How to survive and plan for a future on a typical non-profit salary?

The community job, at least for the next year, would pay little more than minimum wage. They're throwing in medical coverage and an on-site studio apartment, which is huge and the only way to survive, really. Next year I might earn something in the low 20s, but would be lucky to earn something in the 30s in my lifetime.

The schools job would pay more, offer more benefits and offer hope of a pension (though a dim one given the politics in Florida these days) in 20 years.

The community the non-profit job is in would offer chances to network with other agencies and organizations. I could probably pick up work writing reports for folks or doing small project work.

Low paying, well-meaning jobs with no retirement sounds far more terrifying at this point of life. On one hand, I am desperate to get involved, to rumble, get my hands dirty making change. On the other, I'd rather not be eating cat food from the tin when I'm old. But how to stave off guilty feelings about working for The Man?

It's just another thing that doesn't get discussed in certain circles. Talk of pension is too 'corporate' for some or just not a serious option for some organizations. Thus, my generation will end up in the same place as those trying to find a dignified way to retire today. Yet with tuition, student loan debt and financial insecurity rising for both individuals and non-profits, financial issues around staff retention need to be taken up in a more substantive way by the sector.

I'll keep you posted.
A decision - mine or not - will be made on Wednesday.
Peace/سلام

Random family photo (Maternal edition)

2011-08-11T20:10:00.003-04:00

My grand-dad, no idea of the date (c.1930?), likely in his hometown of New Orleans.

Random family photo (Paternal edition)

2011-08-11T19:43:00.003-04:00

Guy on left, speaking into mike (dark suit), is my grandfather. Guy next to him on the right, in the grey suit? Anyone?
Banner over the door is a big hint.

More dispatches from the front lines of the REAL crisis (JOBS, you numpties!)

2011-08-11T13:39:00.007-04:00

Here are excerpts from an email received from a very good friend and fellow MSW grad today. I think about him a lot because he has far more on his shoulders than I: small child, mortgage, car payments...And with his wife employed full-time in a good job, they can't just pull up stakes to follow a job like I can.

He's a brilliant guy with tons of experience and now a graduate degree.
All the right moves, yes?
And still no job.
----
"I wish I could at least get started (before my fucking 40th Birthday in September). In my worst nightmares, I never dreamed that I would still be looking for work at this point. I would say "a job instead of "work", but "work" meets my sentiments better. When I need a "pick me up", I read through all of the rejection emails and letters.

I have had a few interviews, but received three rejection calls last week. I am truly scared because soon another 75+ MSSW students will graduate in the next two weeks...

I know I sound whiny and I guess I am, but I have not called any friends (or emailed much either) because I am embarrassed to be still unemployed."
----
Peace/سلام

Still lives

2011-08-08T23:27:00.003-04:00

In between job searches I am finally getting around to scanning photos from my mom and dad's families. Most of the ones I have are from dad's side, left to me by my wonderful great-aunt before she passed away while I was in college. Most of those are from my great-grandmother, pictured above when she graduated from Mary Hardin Baylor College in Texas, and include some really neat photos of her life in Tucson, Arizona with my great-grandfather in the very early years on the 20th century. Might share some. I think they're pretty fascinating and not just because it's family.

Sticks & stones may break my bones...

2011-08-04T21:32:00.005-04:00

...then I'll crawl over and bring you down by gnawing off your feet. Count on it.

Playlist for the day

2011-08-01T10:16:00.003-04:00

Wishing everyone I know & don't know out there a blessed and generous Ramadan, especially those struggling for their lives and freedom in Syria, Egypt, Yemen, Bahrain, Morocco, Somalia and elsewhere.

When I mentioned I wanted a resolution to my country's irresponsible, manufactured debt ceiling crisis for my birthday yesterday, this was not the outcome I had in mind, but it's hardly surprising given the toxic political environment. Shared sacrifice? Hardly. The word union can be heard in several of these songs and you can hear it literally, referring to organized labor, or as a general call for people to come together, across boundaries and issues to try to turn things around for the majority in this country and the world.

They often teach us the words as kids, but never their real meaning. A subtle, timeless call to action.

About the Spanish Civil War, but could just as easily be about the poverty and injustice that surround us every day but that we choose to not really see. Also, do yourself a favor and Google the International Brigades.

I could keep going with favorites: Tiburon by Ruben Blades; How Will the Wolf Survive by Los Lobos; Strange Fruit by Lewis Allen (perf. by Nina Simone, of course); Free & Equal Blues by Josh White; The Jam; The Wire; Black Flag; Izanzaren; Marcel Khalifa; Grandmaster Flash; Public Enemy...But go find your own inspiration.
Peace/سلام

The good times keep a-rollin' on

2011-07-25T15:03:00.002-04:00

Here's another snapshot of the job hunt landscape, courtesy of an email I received today from a fellow UT School of Social Work grad:

"[Another fellow grad] was saying she applied for a basic Program Specialist I job through TX HHSC and actually got an interview. They told her they had received 600 applications!!! They interviewed 6, but then she didn't get it. How crazy is that? 600 applicants for one job that isn't even that great!"

So much for saving the world. Save yourselves!
Oy!

Ruminations at the true conclusion of graduate school

2011-07-20T12:11:00.022-04:00

Reading: Fragile Things by Neil Gaiman; On Writing by Eudora Welty
Slowly working through: Kelby's books on Lightroom 3 and Photoshop CS5
Playing with: My Yashica D
Listening to: Janelle Monae, Mavis Staples, Billy Bragg
Wondering: Are pirates passe?
-------
I finally received my very pricey piece of paper yesterday.

Appropriately, my first diploma got lost in the mail, never to be heard from again. For what I paid for my education (Loan debt as of today: $57K and accruing interest), I damned well expect to receive something to show for it. I opened the cardboard envelope and checked that it was actually in there - albeit heavily wrinkled in two spots - and promptly stowed it in a desk drawer. Grad school is slowly fading into the dust clouds in my rear view, but the future is just as cloudy, if not darker.

“Oh, a growth industry,” someone joked with me two years ago, when I began work on a master’s of social work. And that has been the expectation from all parties: me; friends; fellow students; faculty; members of the general public. It’s a time of grinding need in my country and so those choosing to enter a helping profession such as social work should be relatively immune from on-going employment woes. I have experience, education, intelligence, and compassion. What could go wrong?

I believed that right up until this week, when my one and only call back and interview in two months of searching led to naught. I am not sure if I was fooling myself during the two and a half years of my program. I am not sure if it's that nobody knows how bad things are until they are in the midst of it. Certainty is becoming an antique.

I do know that I am now a master’s level social worker with skills in communications, project management, community outreach and organizing, casework, policy advocacy, and research. I have worked internationally and have a pretty solid grasp of two languages. I have classroom teaching experience. Sure mine is a bit of an unusual background, but it’s rich with experience, at least in the right person’s eyes.

And yet, here I am, living with my mom for the foreseeable future while I hunt for jobs here, there, and everywhere. I am extremely grateful, especially when she reiterates that I am welcome to stay for as long as I need.

My horizons have narrowed significantly. I have gone from wanting to end poverty and save the world (only slightly joking there) to simply wanting to pay off my student loans and not be broke when I am my mother’s age. I am luckier than many I know: no children; no car or mortgage payments (no car at all at the moment); a bit of money in the bank in case of emergency (or to buy a few months of temporary health insurance); the ability to relocate. Having worked in the county assistance office in Austin for a year, I am extremely grateful for being housed, fed, healthy, and loved. And, I’ve only been at this for two months, not two years. Yes, I’m lucky, for now.

Yet, “Living in a van, down by the river” is threatening to become the punchline to my life, but the joke is no longer funny.

I arrived home from Geneva and my internship with UNHCR finally feeling I wanted to settle in somewhere and give my all to an organization and a community. To be a part of something. To nurture some projects and positive change.

“You’ll have a job by your birthday,” my mother said, not long after I arrived.
My birthday is in less than two weeks. Her tone and projections have shifted.
“It’ll just take time,” she says now when my frustration shows.

I don’t mean to wallow. It drags me down that along with me, several really great friends that graduated with me are in the same boat. Energy, good intentions, compassion and brains going to waste. I know millions are wedged in the dinghy, with more trying to climb aboard every day, and the creaky thing is still taking on water.

“Now I’m worried because the August graduates are about to be unleashed on the job market,” wrote one friend in an email, describing his job search as "soul-crushing."

Another classmate posted a comment about only receiving two almost interviews out of 45 applications. “It’s all who you know,” she wrote.

Experience + graduate degree = good job.
The jig is up. The old formulas no longer compute. Hunker down and shelter in place.

At my school, my concentration within social work is known as Community and Administrative Leadership, CAL for short, which means everything from public policy to nonprofit management to community work. What I don’t have is a Clinical background, the other side of social work, meaning mental health and counseling. Not my area of interest or expertise and it would be negligent for me to even try to fill such a position.

I interned for a year at Travis County as a social worker intern and my role was to work with clients who had seen a caseworker for direct assistance with rent and utilities. I didn’t write checks, much to many people’s dismay and confusion, but I could help them enroll in assistance programs, refer them to other community services, and just hear them out for an hour. It wasn’t at all what I had hoped to do with my experience and degree. It was frustrating enough to hand over the phone number for Section 8 to a client, knowing full well how ridiculously long the waiting list is. As with so much of our assistance network in this country, I might help them maintain, but never really recover their footing. It was a difficult year, but I did help some folks, gained new skills, and was well-reviewed by colleagues and superiors.

After receiving no word back on my initial applications for non-profits, I branched out to vacancy announcements for social worker positions, assuming I had the education and experience necessary. Unfortunately, announcements for every Social Worker position I have so far seen emphasize the need for clinical experience and include counseling or mental health treatment as part of the job responsibilities. I'm a bit confused as to how a social worker can't get a social worker job, but there you have it.

Social work seemed a good choice for someone wanting to advance as a do-gooder. I wanted to work for positive change in communities and throw my activist mentality and skills at meaningful work. The social work profession supposedly keeps person at the heart of all efforts. I had seen too many projects and programs that have lost sight of people or never even bothered with them in the first place. Social justice is also supposed to be a cornerstone of the profession, which certainly suited me. A degree in social work was touted as something I could use in a multitude of ways.

Thing is, I ended up with an awful lot of questions: What happened to meso- and macro-? Why was poverty never mentioned in my program, save one class, in a substantive manner? Why are we dealing with symptoms and not solutions? Systemic change, anyone?

“Sometimes, you know, you get busy with work and life and you have to just put that social justice thing down,” said one girl during an open discussion on the first day of our practice seminar, a course that would run concurrently with our year-long first internship.
“I’m sorry,” I said, “but then I call bullshit and you are not a social worker.”
Well, I did say it gently.

My experience, so far, has left me feeling that whatever it is we define as social work, at least in this country, is not about change, but maintenance of the status quo. I better understand why Alinsky, bless him, couldn't stand social workers. It’s a shame, really, because I have friends in the program, both Clinical and CAL, who want to do so much more and who are just as sharp and rebellious-minded as Saul. We just chose to invest in a system that I believe no longer values such spirit. What would Jane Adams do, indeed?

I tried to describe the feeling once by saying I'd never felt more a part of The System or The Man (or however you want to phrase it) as I did during my graduate education. It wasn’t an education rich with critical thinking, it was a training regiment, and I’m not sure at the moment what it prepared me for. Yes, I could have left when my doubts reared up after a year, but then I would have been stuck with too many credits to transfer to another degree, the prospect of starting from scratch carrying a significant existing loan debt. And calling for change was like shouting into the wind.

It's a lousy time to have a degree that you have to explain to people. I saw an article recently that asked the question, “Should you be able to sue for an inadequate education?” Basically, should you be able to recoup your money if you’re not happy with the product. Interesting question. At the least, how do you define ‘inadequate’?

But that’s all passed and no going back. So, what now? Well, I’ll keep looking, sending my CV to the farthest reaches and every friend and family member I can. Finding a job is, indeed, a full-time job. I’m applying to work as a substitute teacher for the coming school year. I’m gauging where to begin volunteering my time in the community. Reconnecting with a few old friends. Trying to stay fit and healthy. Thankfully, as Billy Bragg notes, the beach is still free and I'm soaking in the sea most evenings to try to quiet my mind.

Just as important, if not more so, I am finally back to personal practices of writing and photography, working on projects I’ve neglected for far too long. I am extraordinarily thankful to find a haven in both. I'll start sharing more of that as I go, whether you want it or not.

I'm not just worried about me though. As a country, we have forgotten that things like roads, firemen, libraries, schools and sidewalks cost money. We've forgotten where the money for those things comes from. We've forgotten that nobody in their right mind goes into teaching to get rich. True, it's not a calling for everyone, but when teachers become public enemy #1, when science and knowledge are vilified like witchcraft, when compassion and calls for equality (or even simple tolerance) are shouted down, we've really gone round the bend as a society and I'm not sure how we get back because, most importantly, we've totally jettisoned the idea of working together and compromise in favor of a scorched Earth approach. The truth is that nobody ever wins those scenarios. Civility is passe. We could all use a refresher run through of Kindergarten: share, work together, inside voice, compromise, don’t eat paste. Do not try to tell me some people out there don’t act like their dipping into the Elmer’s a bit too often. If we don’t climb out of our trenches soon, I’m not sure what’ll be left and that’s heartbreaking here in the 21^st century. This was the future once, the glorious, shining chrome future. The shine is certainly off though.

I haven't given up on the world yet. I can't. When I've tried it never lasts long. I am willing to throw in and work with anyone who wants to make things better for the majority for who the world just doesn't work.Anyone. Well, provided their idea of debate isn't shouting into somebody's face from a distance of a half-inch. I’m not sure what you’ll see from me here moving forward. I’ll keep writing, maybe you’ll keep reading, and hopefully you’ll speak up.
Peace/سلام

And arriving from way out in left field...

2011-05-28T15:01:00.010-04:00

Mind blown from: Doctor Who, "The Almost People" (Thank you, Interwebs!)
Working on: Final touches of my final draft of my project report for UNHCR
Worried about: When everybody else at HQ gets to make changes to said report
Listening to: Gil Scott Heron (R.I.P.)

Huh. So. Uuuummm....
This showed up in my inbox late yesterday:

"Several weeks ago, you should have received a hard copy letter from my office indicating that you were named an alternate for an award to Jordan. While your alternate status for that country has not changed, I got word from my colleagues at the U.S. Department of State about a grant opportunity in Tunisia that’s recently opened. In looking through the applications of the remaining alternate candidates for the Near East/North Africa region, they felt that your project might be one that could be workable/transferable to this new location. While the Fulbright program is not able to actually offer you a grant at this time, I wanted to ask whether you’d at least be amenable to having your application considered for Tunisia?"

I of course told them to chuck my chapeau right into that Tunisian ring.Vive le chaos!
Speaking with Fulbright folks after the holiday weekend to try to figure out what's what with all this. More news to follow soon.
Peace/سلام

The weather is here, I wish you were beautiful

2011-05-25T14:03:00.004-04:00

*Title of post borrowed from a good ol' Buffett song*
Reading: Celebration by Harry Crews
Listening to: My ocean & the wind in the palms

Things are ending and hopefully some beginnings are around the corner.

I've been home in Florida for about three weeks now. The first week or so was spent trying to putting together a full draft of the report on my UNHCR project. Now I'm waiting to get that back from the colleagues in the Staff Welfare Section so we can get the final draft put to bed next week. I'm still following up with participants, staff members and families, to thank them for their time and input. Given organizational culture and that no one from the organization has ever reached out to families in a coordinated way, I'm truly thankful at the overwhelming candor and willingness to believe in the possibility of positive change.

I'm officially a graduate of graduate school, a master of social work. And when you finish something, anything, everyone's immediate question is, "What's next?" Oh, it's like being 18 all over again. What am I going to do with the rest of my life? *groan*

First task: getting sorted with regards to my loans. I was lucky enough to avoid loan debt as an undergrad and I now understand how that debt must be a massive determinant for young people finishing their bachelor's degree. It's certainly weighing on my mind as I start looking for a job. Granted my total debt is about as much as a year's tuition at some private universities, but it's still significant and carrying any debt makes for an uncomfortable situation.

Second task: Finding employment. Despite the feelings of panic that rear up now and then, stopping me cold, I am trying to think tactically about my next moves. I'm starting locally and working out. The trick is, I don't fit well into people's boxes or ideas about careers paths and job descriptions. I would like to recommit to my home state, stick around to lend my skills & energy to try to turn the place around (at least a bit), but that depends on finding the right job with the right folks and may just come down to finding a job period. In addition to applying for jobs, I'm starting to reach out to people who are involved in interesting, dynamic things to try to engage them in conversation.

In between all that, I'm taking time to soak in my ocean, spend time with friends and family, and get back into a real practice of writing and photographing.
So, again, bear with me.
Everything's still in flux, though I'm not sure things ever really settle down.
Peace/سلام

Quick hit dans Paris

2011-04-24T11:31:00.000-04:00

Busy time of transition. I'm in Paris at the moment, in the last full day of a fabulous 10-day break before heading back to the New World. I leave Geneva on 29 April, bound for Florida. And I have to catch a train back to Geneva on Monday. And we wrap my final course of graduate school on Mon night. And I have to pack. And I have to wrap up things at UNHCR HQ. So, be patient. I promise many more posts ahead in coming weeks; I've a lot to process and whatnot (and not just data for the UNHCR project).
Bon soir, y'all.

Reading is good for you. Go read this.

2011-03-27T10:44:00.001-04:00

Wow.
Not the blog post to read to lift my spirits, given I just rang up my student loan totals. Times like this I need more interesting vices or something. However, I think this post relates to anyone out there looking to combine activism and work. It certainly hit home for me as I start the terrifying post-grad school job search. And it relates to my thoughts and criticisms on activism, the social work profession (as seen through my educational experience) and how I feel getting ready to be spat out of grad school as unsure as when I started. Yet, more pissed off. So, there's that. That post will come soon enough, when I've got a bit more bandwidth...and my very expensive piece of paper in my hands.

Anyway, please do read When the Movement Disappoints by Steph over at Feministe (read through the comments, too).
Peace/سلام

Sea change & Spillover

2011-03-19T12:15:00.003-04:00

"I was surprised by your email," the colleague, an alum of my grad program, said over the phone earlier this week. "It sounds like you're just packing up and going home."

She had called to let me know that lunch for later in the week was off. She was being sent for a training that she had tried, without luck, to get out of. I had already offered to help out her husband with babysitting over the weekend. A gal's gotta make money somehow and I like their kids.

At the end the end of my email to her confirming my availability, I wrote that I would likely be gone by June 1, seeing no feasible way or justifiable reason to stay through June with student loans coming due and gainful employment needing to be found.

On the phone that night she sounded concerned and somewhat insistent, asking if there was any way I could stay, any way the organization could keep me on, had I asked around. I told her the answer was no, to the best of my knowledge.

"But there should be demand for somebody with your background and who speaks Arabic," she said and insisted I talk to her husband, who works for an NGO, this weekend. I did add that my Arabic is not fluent, but she insisted intermediate is better than none.

My section chief keeps insisting they are thrilled with my work and "you are welcome to stay as long as you like." She tells me having an experienced professional working for free can only benefit them, so it is a rather sweet deal. I appreciate the sentiment, but it just leaves me giggling to myself a bit. There's no way I could possibly stay, barring adoption by a patron or the offer of a paycheck. U.N. rules are that you can't so much as offer a consultancy to an intern for 6 months, much less a job. There may be other possibilities, but there are bigger issues for me at the moment.

You could sum things up in a word: spillover.

This project for my internship - essentially a needs assessment of international staff families, though people keep insisting they don't want to call it such - has been great in many ways. First and foremost, the chance to talk with and help share the stories of an interesting and diverse group of families and people. It's been a professional, challenging task that plays on several strengths of mine. I am forever thankful that it wasn't me sitting at a desk passing time, forced into a role that simply did not suit or benefit, waiting for people to show up.

However, you cannot listen to these stories and not have it impact you somehow. The effect of the project on me has been a serious bout of self-reflection and reconsideration of a lot of things I assumed were important in life. This is not a bad thing. I would argue vociferously that you can only help others to the extent that you yourself are working from a healthy, whole place.

For years I've been on the go, hopping continents and new experiences. It's been interesting, fun at times, horrible at others. I've learned a ton, made wonderful friends, and had amazing experiences. Trick is, I let a lot of things go in pursuit of something I wasn't real sure of. In career management speak, I've not been living my values.

"At some point you get tired of moving around, you just end up comparing one place to the last place, but you look around and you've lost all your connections to home and you're in a spot where you can really leave the pension and benefits," said one person I interviewed.

What I was tasked with may be program development, but it's also been talking with people about a lot of pain, sadness, and frustration. It's reminded me so much of work with marginalized communities, where a group has decisions made for them and is given no means of providing input, often with dire consequences.I'm thankful for the opportunity and for the openess and candor of those I've spoken to. At this point, I really feel my commitment is to them, to try to accurately convey their lives and stories in a way that might be taken up and considered by the agency.

Last week I booked a ticket back to the U.S.: Zurich to Miami. Cheap ticket on a German low-cost airline. I may have to stand in the aisle or sit on the wing, but I've got an iPod and can bring my own peanuts. Luckily, I was able to cancel at the last minute.

When I told my direct supervisor that I'd booked she seemed surprised. "So you will be staying through May?" she asked."Well, I thought we'd agreed I would leave at the end of May," I said."If you will have completed the hours your department requires and if after Paris you will just be writing the report, I thought you would finish that at home," she said. "That way you save money, can start looking for work, it will be less stress for you..."I told her I wasn't sure and she said I would just have to let her and our section chief know by this Friday.

This week I took them up on the offer. I leave Geneva on 29 April, having managed to find a ticket from Geneva and on real airlines, headed back to my home state of Florida for the time being. I am committed to crafting a strong, quality report. I can help finish it during review and revisions, but the actual final product ans what anyone here does with it is out of my hands. I think some space and sunshine will help in the writing process. The preliminary draft of the report is due 6 May and the final draft, at least what I'll be producing, is due on 20 May. And then that's that.

The inevitable question is "What now?" A liberating, exciting, and terrifying question all at once.Things are popping in my mind, but I barely have the headspace to make a grocery list at the minute. Let me focus on finishing my interviews, my break in Paris, and getting myself back stateside before I even try to answer. I'm sure I'll ruminate on the matter here before then, but give me some leeway, please.
Peace/سلام

Ch-ch-changes

2011-03-05T15:48:00.002-05:00

Not a Bowie fan? *hurumph* Shame on you.
You may notice tweaks to the blog in coming weeks. Just a long overdue revamp and who knows what else.
One thing I'm considering is dropping the blogger name I've used since starting the blog way back in ye olden times of 2006. Not sure why I ever used one since it's not like I'm dishing state secrets. And it's not like if you wanted to know who I am you couldn't find out.
Part of me loves my unofficial title, granted by my ex-husband, and part of me now finds having a pen name a bit silly. Mostly I'd hate giving it up because I love the Amazigh culture and mythology tied to the name. Who doesn't love being tagged an ogre by their husband?
Anyway, we'll see...

Peace/سلام

Warning: existential crisis (again)

2011-03-05T14:03:00.013-05:00

Reading: Shadow Country by Matthiessen (amazing, but you should have been reading him for years now)
Listening to: Helplessness Blues by Fleet Foxes; Wonder Why We Ever Go Home by Jimmy Buffett
Excited about: Chamber music concert at St. Peter's Cathedral Friday night (finally they grant me a student discount!)

It's been a month since I put anything up here? Really? I'd honestly imagined I'd posted something in between, but apparently not. It's a busy time and, at the same time, a quiet time of introversion and introspection.

My project for my internship at UNHCR is off and running. The response has been wonderful, well beyond what anyone expected and a bit overwhelming. Right now, I'm trying to keep up with replying to emails from staff & families wanting to participate and scheduling everybody for interviews. I believe I've mentioned here earlier that I consider this a bit similar to community work I've done in the U.S. and MENA with marginalized communities. These families have many decisions in life made for them with no one from the agency seeking their input on how these decisions impact them or what their lives are like. Much of the talk when I arrived was around managing expectations, that we this project wasn't about entitlements and big ticket programs. The overwhelming request from families so far? To paraphrase: Please acknowledge that we're a part of this organization, too. We may not work here, but you didn't just hire an individual. Nobody's asked for anything truly "big ticket". Mostly, the requests have been for orientations to help people adjust and understand what's what when they relocate or for some sort of social gathering a few times a year to help connect families and the organization. "Just make us feel welcome," said one spouse, "instead of a burden." Sadly, I've been told I can't travel as an intern, so any hope of connecting in person with staff and families in the field is gone.

That's one interesting thing interning here at 36 and to be tasked with an atypical internship project. The head of my section has said she considers me not so much an intern as an unpaid consultant, since that's who might otherwise be undertaking this project. "My gosh, it's a great deal for us to have you here," she said this week. Overall, I'm being treated very much as a professional by everyone, which has been gratifying. Frankly, I've too often missed that feeling over the last two years while in my program. However, there have been moments of frustration. It's been a bit of a struggle to be approved for even a long-distance phone code - needed to speak to people in the field (many of whom I cannot connect with via Skype) - since these are not usually granted interns. Things are working out in the end and most everybody has been very helpful, but there are definitely observations to be made on hierarchy, pecking orders and politics. I have three and a half very busy months ahead.

Now, as to the introspection and introversion. Introversion first. Outside the office, I spend quite a bit of time alone. This is not a complaint, mind you. I've finally picked up my camera and my pen again and gotten to work. Thankfully walking the city with a camera or sitting on a park bench with a notebook and pencil remain free and thus well within my meager budget. I'll likely have some more things to share here soon. However, living ever more in my own head these days means I'm also a bit out of practice in interacting with people. It may sound strange, but as much as you get winded on the stairs when you're out of shape physically, you can get just as exhausted talking with people when you're in a relatively silent period. Again, not a complaint but an observation. I think a silent period is actually quite good for me. Hasn't really helped quiet my mind, though.

The silence helps with the introspection, though. As I get very close to finishing my master's I am inevitably beginning to think of what's next. The trouble is I'm not sure anymore. Luckily, working in Staff Welfare means I'm surround by three people who are very good at helping. My direct supervisor suggested I work with a colleague in career management and she's been wonderful. I was initially just happy she would take time to help an intern, but then to have her insist we work through the whole process has been great. I wandered into our first meeting with my CV in hand, expecting to just get some help with that, but she rightfully suggested we take it back to the basics. Right now I'm working on some exercises around identifying values, skills and competencies.

The bigger question underneath my uncertainty is, as The Clash asks, "Should I stay or should I go?" and relates to the bigger issue of still not knowing where I belong in this big old world. What's possible and what makes sense for my future seems comparably minor; logistics are easier to deal with than existential crisis. In actuality, there's not really a decision to be made at the point. I'm not being bombarded with offers and I've not really reached out to anybody yet. What I'm thinking about a lot these days are the comments of friends, colleagues and acquaintances I've met working abroad. The gist? "You want to help us, go back and fix your country!" And, what a state my country is in these days. It's not the first time I've raised these sorts of questions, but this time the questions seem somewhat more dire, as though this is the time to get the answers right, if there are any right answers to be had. Where and how can you be most effective at helping foster positive change? What are the things you want out of life? What are you willing to give up to get them? Are you walking away from things or towards them? Oh, and, how will you pay the bills (including those damned student loans)?

I've never quite grasped how or why people end up at this blog (other than my mom) and that may be a good thing in that I just put up what I do without trying to write for anyone. So, I'll just keep rambling on and I hope you stick with me and maybe offer up a comment or two someday.
Peace/سلام

Wael Ghonim's DreamTV Interview (w/ENGL subtitles)

2011-02-08T05:07:00.002-05:00

"I want to tell every mother and father that lost a son, I'm sorry but it's not our fault. I swear to God, it's not our fault. It's the fault of everyone who held onto power and clung to it."

Everyone should take a few minutes to watch this interview with one of Egypt's best bloggers, Wael Ghonim, released yesterday after being held illegally for 12 days by his government. For what? For loving his country and speaking truths to try to change it for the better.

Peace/سلام

Turns out the revolution WILL be televised

2011-02-08T04:59:00.001-05:00

Much love to everyone in Egypt.

Finally heard from people and they're alright, still hoping for change.

Peace/سلام

Meanwhile, back in land of cheese & chocolate...

2011-02-04T11:05:00.008-05:00

A few random, relatively pointless things from Geneve...

Happy dance due to: ticket acquired to Patti Smith's 18 FEB show. Woot! By the way, go read "Just Kids" - fabulous read.

Appreciating the juxtaposition of: Headline banners on the vending machines for two local newspapers today: resurgence of syphilis amongst Geneva prostitutes aaaaand 50 new pedestrian pathways planned.

Recently admitted, newly developed irrational loves: 1) proud old men in berets (extra points for big, thick glasses) 2) the city-wide army of accordion players (& the occasional stand-up bass or sax player) performing on public transit.

Wondering about: the luxury car dealership on Rue de Lausanne that literally overnight became a shoe wholesaler. Big signs still up for Ferrari & Maserati, but the cars are gone, replaced by stacks of shoe boxes. Hard times, I guess.

Amused by: the video screens throughout the small shopping center across the street that constantly stream a count of how many millions of kilos of cheese and chocolate are currently being consumed in Switzerland.

Peace/سلام

Shameless love letter

2011-01-30T07:44:00.011-05:00

"Aren't you scared?"

"Weren't you afraid?"

These are the two responses I'm met with when people hear I've lived in the Middle East and North Africa. Same questions now as when I returned from Morocco in 2002. And I give the same, emphatic answer: "No! Never."

As an American of European descent, I guess I'm not appropriately terrified of the Arab world.

I'm still trying to craft a truly effective "elevator speech" to explain how I feel about the MENA and her people. I want to sit people down, make them tea, and tell them stories, but I usually never have the chance. And, too often I know they're not really listening to my response anyway. You can physically see them loose focus, interest, when the stereotypes aren't confirmed.

When I say I enjoy living in the region and have so much respect and love for the people there, it's not denying there aren't critical issues to be dealt with: of poverty, gender, lack of rights and freedoms, corruption and mismanagement, unemployment, education systems in dire need of reform, class conflict, labyrinthine bureaucracies, environmental issues...The list is long.

But then there are the possibilities, which too many people just don't seem to see. And the main source of possibility for me comes from the people, people like we're seeing take to the streets in Tunis, Egypt, Yemen, and Jordan. People my age or younger, especially: friends, colleagues, students. A huge part of society with few choices and few outlets, who know they deserve better than they're getting. The energy, ideas, humor, creativity, grace and determination shared with me over the years has been at times remarkable. Not to say any of it was unexpected or that it doesn't exist elsewhere in the world, but it's been wonderful to have a chair pulled up to the table, to be welcomed and made a part of the conversation.

I can only hope to be afforded the opportunity to get back there soon and continue working with the people - not for, never in place of - to improve lives and communities. To be able to do so would be an honor.

Sitting here in Geneva, watching the scenes unfold this week, I hope the energy, camaraderie, grit, and community evidenced in Egypt will help convey a bit of what keeps drawing me back to the region and counter the fears and myths that cloud the thinking of too many.

I hope for the best, for a better future, for a day when my own country will redefine "stability" in their foreign policy lexicon, when friends in the region won't have to wave me out of public buildings before we talk about certain subjects, when peaceful demonstrations are not set upon by an army of thugs, when people can express themselves freely...

Power to the people.

Peace/سلام

Meanwhile, back at HQ...

2011-01-30T06:36:00.007-05:00

Hunkering down to: Work my way back through all my Arabic textbooks. Gotta keep moving forward somehow!
Marveling at: a country that shuts down at 7pm every night and every Sunday. Consequently missing days of strolling the streets and stopping for kunefa late at night in Cham or Cairo.
Trying to: Knock out the last of my class work and get it the heck out of the way!

Lesson learned (again): Don't shop based on pictures on package. What looks like yogurt may turn out to be some form of cheese. Though quark magro is a cool name. Sounds like something they're working on at CERN.

Work-wise, this week has focused on developing the initial surveys for my project. We'll hopefully soon get surveys out to international UNHCR staff and their families both here at HQ and in the field. The organization defines international staff at those not working in their home countries. While there is an admitted schism(s) between national and international staff here, we had to look at boundaries for this project given the time and resource constraints. That said, I certainly hope a similar assessment will be conducted for the families of national staff in the near future.

Still trying to connect with Staff Welfare officers in the field. Their input and assistance will be important and I am interested to hear what they are encountering with staff.

I've connected with the local organization for expat spouses of UN staff, who are thrilled somebody is taking an interest in their lives and challenges. Likely speaking at their meeting later this week.

Slow going, but this initial phase is about building solid foundations for the rest of the project. I just hope I don't get too stalled, given that I'm only here until June. Most people's response to the project, though positive, has been, "So how many years do you have to get this done?"

One interesting thing last week was joining an informal dinner out with the Staff Welfare folks from several organizations, including WTO, WMO, ITU, and others. Really diverse and interesting group, not to mention fun. I'd no idea this element existed with these organizations. Though critical, they remain small, underfunded posts and could, should, be able to do more.

Again, a very interesting internship from the perspective that I get to see how this place works and doesn't.
Hopefully, I can play a small part in helping it work better. Not only for staff and families, but for the people they're trying to serve under the mandate.
Peace/سلام

Don't believe the hype

2011-01-30T04:48:00.010-05:00

As usual, some news outlets and talking heads are freaking out at images of Arabs rising up. Usually, these are the same folks who equate the word Arab with the word Muslim and the word Muslim with the word terrorist.
This is an uprising of all Egyptians: Muslim, Christian and everybody else.
I'm not claiming expert status in any way. I'm not Tunisian, not Egyptian, not Yemeni....They're your experts. I'm just somebody who's lived in the region, loves and respects the people and is working hard to get back there for good. That said, I want to address those who are jumping on the Al Qaeda, Islamic extremist, "trying to bring back the Caliphate" bandwagon in their comments about what happened in Tunisia and is unfolding in Egypt.

Nothing is ever simple and life is painted in grays. That said, there is a lot that doesn't get discussed out the region in the US media.

You know what Tunisia's revolt was about? Rights & poverty. A socio-economic situation so bad a young man with a college education, Mohamed Bouazizi, who could only find work selling produce in the streets, set himself on fire in desperate protest. He died a few days later of his injuries and a lot of us wish he had lived to see what followed.
You want to know what Egypt's about? Rights & poverty. About HALF the population lives in poverty. You want to understand why some people torched police stations? Google Khalid Saeed and see what happened to him (and countless others) in police custody.

This isn't a religious uprising, it's a HUMAN one.

As to the chaos, reports from on the ground from actual people are reporting that the people are organizing themselves to deal with things. The people of Egypt and the MENA have had to find ways to make life work no matter what for centuries. They've gotten pretty damn good at it. There's a slight flavor of post-Katrina coverage to some of these reports and that's not good.

Nobody has any idea how this will all shake out. I sure don't. Though it seems more and more pundits are saying there's no way Hosni can stay. Also, extra factoid of the day, his new VP ran OUR country's secret rendition program in Egypt. Goodness, I can't fathom why the people aren't satisfied with this shuffling of the deck.

Just please don't listen to folks who are all about "bringing democracy to the Middle East" via invasions, but loose it when people rise up and try to get it for themselves. Things don't happen in a vacuum. We've given billions in aid to many of these repressive governments, Egypt first and foremost. People there do not hate us. This is what I have to explain most often and will keep saying it until people really get it. However, they sure don't get our schizoid policies - speaking about democracy while propping up dictators. And they sure don't like getting pelted with tear gas canisters that read "Made in the USA".

Anyway, for what it's worth...
Power to the people.
Peace/سلام

Ain't No Power Like the Power of the People

2011-01-29T14:31:00.014-05:00

No idea where this is from, but pulled it from my Twitter feed. If anyone knows who to credit, let me know. Must say it was good to help out with friends' kids today. A day wrestling and playing football with a 2 and 5 year-old is good for clearing one's head. Spending another quality night with the people of Egypt (or at least the many info streams) while I knock out the last of my final course work so I can get on to bigger & better things.
Peace/سلام

أنا مع مصر

2011-01-28T13:25:00.008-05:00

What a powerful image (click to enlarge). Trying to sort my thoughts on today.Went into a late afternoon meeting just hoping not to emerge to news of a bloodbath. Just home from work and watching any feed I can.

Thinking of the streets I walked (and sometimes got happily lost in), now filled with tear gas and APCs. Remembering the little girl, who I had to challenge to an eating contest to get her to finish her kushari while her mother tried to contain her laughter. Thinking of the 18 and 19 year-old social work students I met at Helwan University, who adopted me at a conference. What will tomorrow bring for that bright, energetic, hopeful and hysterically funny group of young Egyptians (Muslims and Christians, it didn't matter to them a bit)? Thinking about hanging out on the bridges over the Nile, where today there have been running battles. Thinking about the friend I stayed with last March and hoping to hear from hear back from her soon. Just thinking about how much I miss the place, how much I love the people...
It's going to be a long night. And whatever comes, this is just the beginning.
My thoughts and hopes are with all of Egypt, all of the Middle East.
Peace/سلام

Great day in the morning!

2011-01-21T01:34:00.004-05:00

Looks like I'm onto the next phase for Fulbright:
"I am pleased to inform you that the National Screening Committee of the Institute of International Education (IIE) has recommended you for a grant under the Fulbright U.S. Student Program for the academic year 2011-2012. Your application has been forwarded to the supervising agency abroad for final review."

Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan and Jordanian Fulbright Committee, have I told you lately that I love you? Show me love, guys. And I'd prefer you not wait until June to do so.

For now, it's time to rekindle my romance with Hans Wehr.
Peace/سلام

Hello. My name is Methusalah.

2011-01-19T16:22:00.003-05:00

I really am not somebody who minds aging. I did a little, happy dance in a tiny elevator in Istanbul when my Iranian friend pointed out my first gray hair. Badge of honor thing, I think. However, I can find humor now that I'm reaching a new set of benchmarks. Last fall, my freshmen students were half my age. Half. Many people in my graduate program never saw the 70s. Some barely saw the 80s. As noted here, I no longer qualify for many student discounts in Geneva because I apparently long ago aged out of the category.

Today, the UNHCR interns hosted the monthly interns' lunch for interns across the UN system. I am well aware I am older than most interns here. It was a small turnout, mostly UNHCR interns, but nice folks. Then some of them began discussing resumes, some trying to find work to stay in Geneva or just move into paid employment where they can. Several started discussing having to fill space with an "additional interests" section, listing hobbies or talents and whether that was a good idea or not. I thought, "My, it's been a while since I've had an interest section in my CV. Huh." I agreed that writing a CV is a special craft in and of itself and mentioned having to shave certain items off after 10 years. And I was met with blank stares. And the inevitable question from one of them, "How old are you?"

Ah, children. Gather 'round and the Crypt Keeper will tell you her tales of the days of yore.
Peace/سلام

Climb every mountain...or at least the one in your backyard

2011-01-16T15:30:00.001-05:00

Two quick questions

2011-01-15T10:23:00.005-05:00

If allegedly being able to see Russia from your house supposedly qualifies you to be VP, what does actually being able to see France from your house qualify you for? This is important since I'll be seeking gainful employment in coming months.

Also, if finding the baby Jesus in your piece of King Cake means a good year for you and the responsibility for throwing next year's Mardi Gras party, what does finding a little ceramic figurine of Garfield ice skating in your slice of galette des Rois mean? Whatever he may be an omen of, he now adorns my desk.
Peace/سلام

Week One: So it begins

2011-01-14T14:10:00.024-05:00

Shooting for: free concert of a few of Bach's Cantatas tonight at Temple de la Fusterie - part of the celebration of the music conservatory's 175 anniversary.

Factoid of the day: The UNHCR HQ building was designed by an architect who had previously only designed prisons. Place sort of has an odd cruise ship-y vibe, too.

Discovery of the day: Those two giant boxes that seem to have long ago taken up permanent residence in the hall outside our office? The ones I was otherwise oblivious to? Yeah. Finally read the label this week. Condoms. Thousands and thousands of condoms.

Dreaming of: Terra Proibita, aka the 7th floor of UNHCR HQ, where the High Commissioner and other top officials have their offices. If for nothing more than to snoop. Thar be dragons! People sort of speak of it in hushed tones. I will likely get up there for interviews as part of my project. For now, I like to tease my supervisors with things like, "But, what if I just want to knock and offer to buy him a coffee? That's nice, right?"

Feeling a bit better about the world today thanks to: Tunisia!

Amused by: the very elderly, very chic woman who kept looking me over approvingly while we waited to get in the bank downtown at opening Friday: (to me, in French) "You must be a lawyer, no?"

"So what are your first impressions?" asked the long-time UNHCR staffer, an alum of my department at UT-Austin. I tried to pull it together to put into words.

This week has been mostly observations, so trying to give first impressions is like spreading the cards across the table and playing Memory: flipping cards over and over until you can make a match, in this case my observations with words to convey them. I've tried very hard to just keep my eyes and ears open and be the sponge this week.

I spent most of the week in my office, which is actually not bad for two reasons. First, Friday I discovered that most of the interns at HQ are sort of quarantined to two glassed-walled pods on the 6th floor, no matter who they work for. Great for networking with other interns, but I'd rather be integrated into the unit I'm working with. I work out of my section's actual office, on the 4th floor. Also, our office is a stopping point for every new staff member and many others. I met the brand new head of Legal Affairs this week, who stopped by to get some help on housing and relocation. Nice fellow and in just the same tough spot as all of us in finding a place to live. Though I'm quite sure he as a few more resource than I to deal with it.

I'm on the Ave. de France side, facing the lake. Aside from being able to see the lake, a bit of the Palais, and, if I lean, the mountains, my favorite thing in my view is the World Meteorological Organization building. I'm sure it's from growing up in Florida, but I have a deep-seated and rather irrational love of jalousie windows and the WMO building looks like one big oval-shaped bank of jalousie windows from my window. Or sort of like the overgrown lens of a lighthouse - even better. It's a silly, trivial thing that makes me happy. That's all.

I work for the Staff Welfare Section (SWS). We have sent students to Community Services for nearly 20 years. I am the first student from our school to intern in this section. Before arriving, I'd not been very sure what I that meant or what I might be doing. People said, "You're at the UN! Does it matter?"
Yes, it damn well does to me.
I'd gotten a vague description from my faculty liaison: Staff Welfare...counseling...assistance programs...
I admit, I was nervous. I'm not a counselor. That's not my end of social work. At all. I had struggled to try to make my first field internship a useful learning experience and I don't believe I was ever really permitted to succeed to that end. Wonderful people, but far too constrained on the part of my department and the agency towards hitting benchmarks that had little to do with me. It was a rough year.
Then I spoke to the director of the section and the staff member who would serve as my supervisor over Skype in early December.
They were just as unsure of the requirements of my department for the internship, the nuts and bolts requirements like hours to complete, but they were very exciting about having me intern.
"Just to be clear," I added, "I don't have a mental health background. I don't do therapy. I don't do individual casework."
I am not sure they couldn't hear my very rather audible sigh of relief when they insisted that's fine, that's not what the internship would be about. They needed somebody to lay groundwork and start developing programs. It was still vague, but it as up my alley.

I decided to start on the first Friday of the year knowing there would be a lot of admin stuff to take care of: getting my badge, tech stuff to set up...And, luckily, maybe because most people were still out on holiday, everything went smoothly.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I've been lucky, but I have to say that so far as I've experienced, the U.N. has the nicest security staff I've ever met at a large organization. The folks issuing badges chatted with me about where I was from and what I was doing at the U.N. The older fellow processing my badge asked what I had planned after the end of my internship and when I told him I didn't yet know he insisted with a smile that I would be staying on with the UN. The guards at HQ were incredibly gracious, joking in response to my walking in the first morning, throwing my arms out, and stammering in broken French, "So what do I do?" Leaving the first evening, one of them asked me how my first day went.

There are four people in staff welfare, including our support staffer. We're two Croatians (including the head of section), a Romanian, a Gambian and now an American. My direct supervisor is a trained social worker who has worked in Romania and France. Her background includes community work as well as more therapeutic practice. The head of our office also has a mental health background and like my supervisor sometimes sees staff in her office for sessions. The third person on staff, the other Croatian, is a trained psychologist. The section now has four members in the field as well: Dakar, Nairobi, Kinshasa, Islamabad. There are hopes for two more positions at some point in the future, in the Americas and another in Africa. The section in small but growing as the UN, like many organizations, fully grasps the need for a happy and fully-supported staff. While programs have mostly focused on staff, there is a desire to extend services of some sort to families.

All UNHCR staff, except for a few people in specialized positions or with certain backgrounds, rotates regularly all over the globe. Postings may last anywhere from about two years (hardship posts) to about five or six years. Except in cases of certain posts (Afghanistan, etc), people may bring their families. As you can imagine, this isn't easy, but then again neither is leaving your family behind. Issues like vicarious trauma, difficulties for spouses finding work and maintaining careers, the basic difficulties in relocating, disruption of children's educations, relationship strain, are just some of the issues encountered. It is often bandied about that UNHCR has the highest divorce rate in the UN system. Interestingly, the head of our office noted that though she's heard that for many years, she's never seen figures to prove it, which makes it part of the organizational mythology, for now.

The best and most exciting thing about this week is they just threw me right off the dock and into the water. Spent the first two days talking to the three of them about the section, the organization, printing internal documents to read about everything from work-life balance at he UN to UNHCR organizational culture, and brainstorming the project. It was a little overwhelming at first, but I actually like it that way - a bit of shock treatment. It also indicated that they were trusting me to rise to the challenge as a mature professional and already giving me a bit of autonomy, which I appreciate immensely. Nice for me and for them. Our director and my supervisor both expressed to me their real relief and satisfaction at how they were able to do just that with me, how much they appreciated my jumping immediately and performing so well out of the gate.

The actual work on an internship can be hit or miss. You hope, or at least I do, to not be placed where there is either nothing for you to do, where you're not permitted to do anything useful that would make it a meaningful learning experience, or where you're limited to doing things way below your abilities.

My project is big, meaty, challenging and exciting. I've been told by others on staff that this is the sort of thing they hire a consultant to do, that I might be able to publish on it, too. I'll be essentially completing an assessment of the relationship between UNHCR and staff families - how do they view organization and how does the organization view them. Along with that, I'll be assessing the challenges facing families of international staff (staff not working in their home country), any existing assistance programs, and beginning to look at how to develop adequate and sustainable support programs. All this ends up merging with lot of initiatives within the UN system and UNHCR like gender parity and improved work-life balance as well. Additionally, there is the realization of the importance of these types of programs on recruitment and retention and, ultimately, in being able to succeed in your mandate.

I'll write more about the methodology later, but I'm using a lot of qualitative methods and pushing for the most direct contacts possible, in part due to the perceived negative relationship. I'll be talking to folks all over the world and at pretty much ever level here at HQ. We're pushing hard for some field visits, within reason. There's a lot of balancing involved - not raising expectations (positive or negative) too high, maintaining clarity, etc. But I really do need a tough challenge like I need air and I've certainly got one here.

I was asked to draft a concept paper for the project to distribute to the necessary higher-ups by Friday. Initially, I was a bit stuck just fretting uselessly about proper formatting. Then I realized all the balancing that would have to be done for all sides. Not impossible, but certainly imposing.
Early indicators within HQ are good and the concept paper went out yesterday. Next week I start a slew of informational meetings with everyone from legal affairs to policy to medical services. Also have meetings with system-wide managerial staff from over in the Palais. Also getting in touch with the Budapest office and our SWS staff in the field. It's a steady, heavy diet of input.

It's a hierarchical organization for sure and I'm working via introductions from our staff at the moment. While I certainly understand that certain procedures help things run smoothly, I believe there's a hell of a comedy of manners to be written. Perhaps oddly, I sort of mean that as a complement. I think.

So that's the week that was.
We'll see what week two brings.
It's a lovely, sunny day and I have to get outside and play.
God, that rhymed a bit too much, no?
Sort of enjoying not having to be anywhere at the moment, though, as well.
Bon weekend, y'all.
Peace/سلام

I'm not who I think I am

2011-01-05T15:10:00.004-05:00

It appears that the title of "Non-traditional student", typically used in the U.S. to designate an older than average student, does not exist in Switzerland, or at least not in Geneva.

Every time I've inquired about student discounts, so far, I've been met with the same response:
"Madame, a student is a person under 25 years of age."
It does not matter that I have my university ID and an International student ID card.
I am 11 years over the cut-off. Thus, I am not a student.
Not sure what that makes me as an unemployed, unpaid intern, trying to finish the last credits for her master's degree, but I am not a student.
Non!
Perhaps I am some sort of eccentric who not only likes working for free, but pays someone else for the pleasure to do so.

A few times I've been met with a bit of a tone. The guy who sold me my ticket to the symphony even cocked his head to the side just a notch in disbelief and sort of stared me down for a beat.

I must say my new favorite person is town is the woman at the ticket counter for the neighborhood pool, right behind our apartment building. She not only gave me a student price on my pool pass, she threw me the local price. I was nearly moved to reach through the window and hug her.
Peace/سلام

Dear Geneve

2011-01-05T08:36:00.008-05:00

No disrespect, Geneva, but I don't find the Jet d'Eau to be all that. Of course, walking past, I've seen many people who would obviously disagree snapping photos like mad. It does remind me of a great sprinkler toy I had as a wee kid. However, you can't play in the Jet, or at least I haven't figured out how (w/o injury, arrest or - right now - freezing). It also reminds me of Letterman's old "prancing fluids" gag. Surely you've better things to brag on. I mean, Raclette, maybe? "The other melted cheese!" Watches that cost as much as some automobiles aren't much to brag about in this economic climate without sounding a bit gauche and out of touch. And Calvin...well, while really fascinating, he wasn't exactly a party with his Five Points, was he? You're a perfectly nifty city, so far, so I suspect it won't be too hard to come up with something.

Also, never, ever, do away with the marché aux puces at Plainpalais. Ever. It's reassuring and heartwarming that a market exists where I can, should I chose to, purchase a Pinhead doll, old movie cameras, broken watches by the truckload, a French press, kilm rugs, Andean woolly hats, not-so-gently used shoes, and random doll body parts...all in one place. Fabulous. I have my eye on a few items already. No, not Pinhead.

Finally, for now, might I remind you that your country is supposedly one where people consider themselves happiest in all the world. They don't often look it. What gives? Just asking.
Will write more soon.
Avoir. Merci.
Peace/سلام

Dateline: Thonex

2011-01-02T09:38:00.006-05:00

Arrived to Thonex and am settling into my little monk's cell of a room. Actually, it should work just fine. The flat owner's been very helpful. Even took a bit of pity on my with all the shops closed for the holiday weekend and cooked a small meal for me. The other renter, a very nice WTO intern from China, leaves tomorrow, so not much to report there.

It's a pretty quiet part of town, save for the bank robbery not long ago. According to Nico they seem to have a robbery about every five years, which led to jokes about Swiss promptness. Even better, the robbery occurred across the street from the police station, though he couldn't tell me if that meant the robbers were bold, stupid or the police just incompetent.

I went to France for the first time in my life today. This is not a huge feat since France is about 100m up the street. You just hit the street and keep walking. The fact that if I wander off in pretty much any direction I'll be in another country is a bit odd to a kid from S. Florida, where there nearest state was about a ten hour drive away. Crossing the border was a bit anticlimactic with nobody around to check your papers, hassle you or hold you for 14 hours. Or bring you endless cups of coffee. Oh, how I miss my long conversations over coffee with the border guards at Bab al-Hawa, though.

I wandered into a small cemetery; the dead often make far better company than the living. Most of the graves were family plots, but there was a large memorial to four martyrs of the WWII resistance and a single grave for a group of refugees lost in WWI. Very moving to see a man's grave festooned with dedications of love from his family beside inscriptions such as "Rosette de la Resistance...Un Exemple!"

Unfortunately, this being a holiday weekend, walking around for a while instead of heading straight for the grocery stores proved a poor choice and everything was shut by the time I headed home. Managed to scrounge a packet of soup, a loaf of bread, some Kiri & a tomato at the one shop open around here. Tomorrow, I'll head back into France for a real grocery run and to hit up the halal markets. There's been some discussion as to whether shopping in France versus Geneva remains a bargain, but I'm willing to give it a go.

Set to start at UNHCR on Friday, mostly to get some formalities & paperwork out of the way. So this week is all about getting rolling and trying to start carving a routine.
And then figuring out how to hike to the top of Saleve, which was half shrouded in clouds today so that you could barely see the tram cables. The trees just below the clouds were coated in snow, so it should make for an excellent full-day hike. This town may be pricey, but walking's still free.
Peace/سلام

Bonjour, y'all

2010-12-26T13:23:00.005-05:00

Reading: Just Kids by Patti Smith
Currently: House sitting for new friends in Gland - pron. Gloh according to my new friend Vincent, aged 5.

Just another lazy quick post to say I made it to Switzerland. It's not been a terribly fun first week, but it's getting better.

After a not so fun journey here, I landed in Geneva at about 2am. I was supposed to land in Istanbul, but it's a long, dull story involving standing in a queue with 2/3s of humanity in Frankfurt, with occasional flashes of remarkable, small generosities from strangers. My bags finally made it from Frankfurt on Christmas Eve and new friends invited me to stay at their home outside of Geneva while they went skiing. And, best of all, I may have found a decent room to rent for an actually reasonable price - no small feat in this town. Learning something new about this place and how to make my way every day. For the next few days I'm going to take it easy, read, walk, and rest.

I managed to do the two things I said I'd do on my first day here: paid my respects to Vieira de Mello and Borges at Planpalais and stopped by UNHCR to take in the place from the outside.

I'd been staying at the hostel, which hasn't been so bad, though a top bunk at 36 is not what it was at 10. The weather's been cold and we even enjoyed a decent snow on Christmas Eve. Most everything shuts down by about 5 for the holiday weekend, so I ended up at a kebab shop having durum and ayran for Christmas dinner. Since I actually can manage more Turkish than French at the moment, I was able to chat up the proprietors, who even had me stay for a spot of tea.

Best thing has been walking along the lake under low, gray clouds late in the day, listening to Scriabin and Coltrane. I'm sure there are others whose music will suit, but for now these are my guys.

If all goes well, I'll be moved in and start really settling in next weekend. My first day at UNHCR will be 7 Jan.
Peace/سلام

Transitioning

2010-12-13T21:06:00.005-05:00

Watching: sad news of the loss of Richard Holbrooke
Working on: packing and repacking and repacking...(it's like editing, but with stuff)
Looking forward to: Wed of friends, stone crabs, and Key lime pie
Wishing: I could shake this cough!
Reading: has stalled for the moment

The wind is whipping the palms about outside. There's a hard freeze blowing in tonight; manatees and crops are at risk from the record lows. And local media is nearly as giddy as when a hurricane approaches.
Rearing my head from the sands of the SE Florida coast to say I don't have much to say at the moment, really.
Running like made to get things sorted and spend time with friends and family before flying to Istanbul a week from today.
Finished entering grades for my undergrads and really appreciate receiving emails from them wishing me well at the UN and thanking me for being "the coolest TA".
It's been a whirl with the end of the semester, this pit-stop at home...
Looking forward to setting my bags down in Istanbul for a bit before, I hope, taking the train to Geneva. Yeah, I know flying is faster, but it's not the same.
Anyway, check back in a week or so. Give me a chance to have some tea and clear my head.
Peace/سلام

From the mouths of cartoon dogs...

2010-12-06T23:42:00.009-05:00

So, this little video's been making the rounds amongst students here in my department. I hear faculty and admin are catching on and some even have a sense of humor about it.
It was made by a student here, but I've no idea who. No, not me, though several asked.
Rated PG for a bad word or two.

Last one out...

2010-12-06T17:15:00.001-05:00

Gorging on: MOVIES! Caught up on a lot I've been meaning to see for ages.
Reading: The Rebel by Camus and, most wonderfully, ANYTHING ELSE I WANT!
Leaving on a jet plane: Friday, bound for FLA
Listening to: Motown
Scrambling: to get my Swiss visa before 20 DEC

Well, that's about it here in Austin. If you're reading this, I've walked out of my department for likely the final time. The air is likely cool and sweet. Now, I'm not quite finished...not until May. However, in honor of a lot of things, here's a wee video. Embed's disabled, so you'll just have have to go look for yourself.
High school or grad school - sometimes the distinctions blur significantly - this just fits.
Peace/سلام

Allons-y!

2010-11-18T19:54:00.002-05:00

Listening to: Mumford & Sons, Laura Marling, Lost Bayou Ramblers, Scriabin

Geneva it is, folks. Off to UNHCR HQ to work on program development for my internship. More news to come...
Wheels up to Istanbul and old friends on 20 December. Likely off to Geneva by train just after the start of the year.
Peace/سلام

It's a long way to the top, if you wanna rock 'n roll...or do most anything else, really

2010-11-14T18:49:00.005-05:00

Getting me through: proper tea & Doctor Who
Favorite quote of the moment: "Tea! That's all I needed! Good cup of tea! Superheated infusion of free-radicals and tannins, just the thing for healing the synapses!"
Lusting after: the books I bought in San Francisco and the others in my queue. Oh, to read as I please again! Crichtley, Camus, Pogge, Conan Doyle...

Spending this chilly evening sharing my workspace with a friend from Latin American Studies. She came to commiserate over the Grand Canyon-sized gaps in our respective educational programs.

I've got little spiritual, temporal or psychological space to write anything deep here. What I am writing is the third version of the application essay for my final field internship. Yes, those who decide in the department are having me and the other student who would have interned in Armenia write glorious new versions of our "Why should you get an international internship?" essays so they may decide which of us should get the Community Services internship in Geneva. I guess it's fair, but it feels a bit daft. Having started this whole process in mid-2009 in pursuit of a student-initiated placement, this will mark the third time I've explained things, in a way. Yes, I still want to work abroad, still want to work on forced migration and refugee issues as a part of the new generation of the global refugee regime. Still want to work on Convention Plus-type notions and use of soft law to expand protections, solutions for urban refugee populations, and dabble in some other issues such as climate change migration and emergency education. Still reading voraciously to learn things like research methods - coding in qualitative research is the new one, thanks to my friend Pamela and her Nicaragua research - and international law and global policy diffusion and lots more.

Yep. Same ol', same ol'. I guess I should just try to think that the third time's a charm or something.
Oh, and, still have a ticket to Istanbul dated 20 December. So there's that to look forward to, certainly. Now, what happens after that? I've no idea.
For now, it's head down and do as I'm told.
Peace/سلام

And the bands played on...

2010-11-01T23:25:00.008-04:00

Currently: Procrastinating on some program evaluation work
Listening to: Radiohead, Coltrane, Britten's Cello Suite #3
Still loving and rewatching and quoting...: Sherlock
Reading up on: scary cuts in the UK

Something tells me this election night won't be near as fun as 2008, if for no other reason than I won't be chowing on oxtails with the great folks at Pritchard's in Lake Worth.
Yes, everything goes a wee bit better with music. Even make-you-crazy things like elections. The band on the Titanic didn't keep on for nothing, yeah?
Top of my head here, but did have to edit a bit since most of my playlists end up sprawling things that only I can see as relating to the theme. It may get updated as the day goes on...
I would love it if those of you out there in the ether would add your own tunes in the comments.

Electioneering by Radiohead
Beautiful Struggle by Talib Kweli
Love Me, I'm a Liberal by Ochs/covered by Jello Biafra
Democracy by Leonard Cohen
We Love Your Apathy by Skunk Anansie
Lawyers, Guns and Money by Warren Zevon
2+2=5 by Radiohead
Yes, It's Fucking Political by Skunk Anansie
Dad's Gonna Kill Me by Richard Thompson (Supposedly we're fighting at least two wars. Who knew?)
You Hate Me & I Hate You by GG Allin
Pretty Vacant by the Sex Pistols
Paranoia Key of E by Lou Reed
Who Invited You? by The Donnas
Mr. Bad Example by Warren Zevon
None of Us Are Free by Solomon Burke (R.I.P.)
Hard Times Come Again No More by S. Foster/covered by Nanci Griffith
Headless Heroes by Eugene McDaniels
Intervention by Arcade Fire
Monkey Island by 13th Floor Elevators
The Pill by Loretta Lynn (because lots of scary people still think they deserve a say in what a woman does with her body)
You Ain't Been Doin' Nothing if You Ain't Been Called a Red (and old IWW song)
Rednecks by Randy Newman (Post-racial? No. Not even close.)
Christ for President by W. Guthrie/covered by Billy Bragg & Wilco
This Land is Your Land by Woody Guthrie (or just about any of his other songs)
People Have the Power by Patti Smith
Peace/سلام

Where did it go?

2010-10-27T22:16:00.004-04:00

Watching (and rewatching and loving and rewatching...): BBC's cracking new Sherlock
Listening to: Mc5, 13th Floor Elevators, Staple Singers, Coltrane, & fair bit of trad. Kurdish stuff
Reading for fun: The Psychology of Proof
Pondering: election night playlist - everything goes better with music (even inevitable, demoralizing wins by troglodytes & philistines); MacBook Air 2.0; some proper tea at 10

Dear, God. Wow. Nigh November now, which means almost December, which means almost finished here. My. Really, it's too deep in the semester to have much of importance or clarity to report. Still not sure where I'm going for my final internship now that Armenia fell through. I mentioned that, right? Turned out they want to do surveys & need interns with language skills other than mine. Thus, flux. Do know I land in Istanbul on 21 December and grateful to be back in the great city with friends. From there is anyone's guess at the moment. Which would be fun, if this internship wasn't so important to me. Not just a feather in the cap and all.
Anywho...back to working on policy briefs (urban refugees, survival migrants, Iraqi refugee crisis). I do love my policy briefs.
Peace/سلام

Sharpening focus

2010-10-24T17:29:00.004-04:00

It's a rather profound thing to figure out what you're doing in a grand sense. I think, after all these years, I've gotten there or at least am headed in the right direction. It's a been a long process of pulling the bits and pieces together and discerning patterns, meanings and messages.

Who am I? A believer. I believe in multilateralism. Yeah, I do. My passport may say USA, but my vision is quite a bit wider than the horizon. As people have noted, I'm so macro-focused I'm meta.

What do I work on and want to keep working on? Forced migration and refugee issues.
It's no longer 1951, but the global refugee regime is a bit stuck there. Some are advancing some interesting ideas as to how we dislodge the regime from the mid 20th-century and I want to be in the middle of that discussion. "Survival migration", the urbanization of the world's refugee population, global policy diffusion, updating responses, use of soft law to expand the UNHCR mandate - Should we? Could we?...these are the things I love to wrestle with.
This is what I've dedicated my time and efforts toward recently and the direction in which I hope my work leads.

Some people find their focus naturally. Some are born with it. Figuring out mine has taken a bit of doing, but I think I'm getting there.
Peace/سلام

Liu Xiaobo, in his own words

2010-10-08T15:34:00.005-04:00

"For hatred is corrosive of a person’s wisdom and conscience; the mentality of enmity can poison a nation's spirit, instigate brutal life and death struggles, destroy a society’s tolerance and humanity, and block a nation’s progress to freedom and democracy. I hope therefore to be able to transcend my personal vicissitudes in understanding the development of the state and changes in society, to counter the hostility of the regime with the best of intentions, and defuse hate with love."
~Liu Xiaobo, December 23, 2009
Click on the quote to read his statement in its entirety.
Peace/سلام

Bad day on campus - UPDATE

2010-09-28T10:52:00.004-04:00

UPDATE - I'm going to leave the last word on this week's suicide on my campus to John Woods, a fellow UT grad student and all-around remarkable person. By Tuesday afternoon, it was apparent this was, in fact, a suicide and not a school shooting. There have been a lot of discussions in my classes and just amidst colleagues about guns, but more often about finding new ways to reach out to those in need of help, how to be allies to those in trouble, for young people to counter stigmas and know when and how to seek help themselves. I hope we can work together to come up with solutions.

Tuesday:
In the midst of an unsettling incident on campus. Apparently there were two armed suspects on the UTexas-Austin campus in the main library (PCL). Campus is CLOSED at the moment and everybody's on lockdown. According to UT announcement one suspect is dead in the library and campus police are looking for another.

Please, UT folks, stay home and give first responders a break!
Will update with more when I have it.
I'm locked down in my department and in a meeting where few of us are really focusing.
Hope everybody out there is safe.

Everything's better with mariachis

2010-09-23T20:50:00.006-04:00

My thoughts on this semester, as expressed by mariachis. Hat tip to the friend that sent this.
Feeling not so much like a brick in the wall as someone felled by a brick from the wall.
Is it December yet?
Peace/سلام

Next stop Armenia

2010-09-15T12:02:00.006-04:00

Parev!
I am officially headed to Armenia come January for a 6-month internship with the UNHCR to round out my MSW program. I'll be working with the protection unit but should get more of a briefing now that things are finalized.

This means I'm brushing up on my limited Russian and starting to learn with the Armenian alphabet. I took a year of Russian way back in high school, but our teacher was more interested in telling us countless stories involving women and Gauloises. I do remember him mentioning Russian grammar as being akin to 52 pickup.

I'll likely leave the U.S. in mid-December and stop through Istanbul to see friends. My plan is to head East via train and may stop in Ardahan to see a friend's family before continuing overland through Georgia with a stop in Tiblisi. For now, I've classes to take and teach until the start of December and a bit more time to spend with friends and family.
Peace/سلام

Moving on

2010-09-09T09:29:00.005-04:00

Listening to: Lots of Zevon
Reading: For class, always for class
Staring at: stack of untouched personal reading on the table *sigh*
Lauding: Kurt Sutter & SOA

First off, Çok mutlu Bayram, Eid mubarak and Shanah tovah to friends and family out there.

Slowly getting into the groove of this final semester. Had to sort out a classroom for my Friday classes after the Uni double booked my class with another, but we ended up with a better room. The students and I are happy to have exterior windows, though the building throws off a distinct higher ed circa 1950 vibe from the hospital green tiles and hourly bells down to the serious lack of women's bathrooms. And I dropped a class of my own yesterday. Didn't need to take it and it was not coming close to meeting my expectations, but it was still difficult for me. I think some part of my brain interpreted it as failure, which is silly. I'm moving on just fine, mind you.
That leaves me with three classes and the independent study in program evaluation. My advanced policy class is excellent and I love that my professor green lit me to develop my projects around my Fulbright proposal and migration/refugee policy improvements in Jordan and Turkey. My other interesting course involves us working with a rural Texas community on a few targeted projects. My group is working with a group of kids on some digital mapping projects, which I'll write more about once we drive up there on Monday.

Best news is that I am have some idea of where I am headed next year. I am still waiting to hear back about one possible placement with UNHCR I designed. However, if that falls through, I am headed to Armenia for my final internship. My department selected me and a friend for the UNHCR field internship. Bottom line, either way I'll be interning with UNHCR for six months, fleeing the U.S. in December with a very likely stopover my beloved Istanbul to see friends. Beyond happy, but think I'll finally let it in when everything's sorted for sure.
For now, have to run catch my bus.
Peace/سلام

Act of Kindness That Made My Day

2010-08-27T22:16:00.011-04:00

UPDATE: Monday morning post from Velveteen Rabbi says over $1,000 raised.

Came across word of this effort on the Internets today.
A rabbinical student blogging as Velveteen Rabbi is, on her own, collecting donations to pay for the cleaning and/or replacement of the prayer rugs at al-Iman mosque in Queens, New York, which were ruined when an heavily inebriated man barged into the mosque earlier this week and urinated on the prayer carpets. The man was arrested and charged with criminal trespass. Initial reports claimed the man shouted anti-Muslim slurs, but latest reports from the NYPD are that congregation members said the man did not make slurs.

As of Friday night she'd raised about $600 from nearly 40 people.
The plan is to present a check to the congregation of the mosque next week.
If you would care to contribute, follow the link in the first sentence to her post and follow the instructions.

She admits they may have already dealt with the rugs, but wanted to do something for the congregation anyway.
It's the spirit of the thing, given all the rhetoric and worse these days.
That's what I want to believe this country is still about.
Something bad happens to your neighbor, so you help them out. Simple as that.
Make of it what you will, but it made my day.
Peace/سلام

Yes, we DO have a problem

2010-08-26T11:01:00.006-04:00

As you've probably read, things are not well here at the moment when it comes to religious freedoms, constitutional rights, common sense and basic decency towards others.

Anti-mosque sentiment seems to be growing across the nation, well beyond the site of the Park 51 project. The latest case involves a store-front mosque in Kentucky. The property owner claimed he had no problem with Muslims worshiping there, but they couldn't park right. When asked what his feelings would be toward Baptist worshipers if a church opened in the space, he responded that those people would know how to park right.
Fear the Muslims, America! They may ding your car!
I might add that this man has obviously never met some of my Baptist relatives who are terrifying behind the wheel, though I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with their religious beliefs.

And, this morning brings news of a man barging into a mosque in NYC, berating worshipers and urinating on the prayer rugs.
That story follows the horrible and bizarre story of the NYC taxi driver stabbed by his fare after responding to a question about his religious beliefs. Some people emphasize that both men were drunk. A lot of us have been inebriated at some point in life. As a result, we've been stupid, rude, silly, nauseous and maybe even gotten in trouble. However, I'm pretty sure most of us have never stabbed somebody for their religious beliefs or relieved themselves in a house of worship. Much like other drunken behavior roundly condemned recently - anti-Semitic and racist remarks - there are certain lines most of us won't - CAN'T - cross even if under the heaviest of influences.

I was relieved to read that people in Gainesville, in my home state of Florida, have organized peaceful, interfaith actions to respond to a small, fringe church's plan to burn copies of the Quran on 11 September. The pastor claims he is burning them because they are "full of lies", which is rather ironic since the Quran is full of many of the same characters and narratives found in the Bible.

I can tell you from experience, this is not an issue solely of the Right. I have corrected false and, occasionally, pretty wretched comments from people who self-identify as being progressive or of the Left. And, as many have noted, those speaking out against all this anti-Muslim sentiment come from across the ideological spectrum. Who actually acts on misinformation and hatred is a different issue, beyond political division.

Stabbing people, burning sacred texts, urinating in houses of worship, denying worship space for reasons beyond real zoning issues, smearing an entire religion and all 1.5 million followers of that religion goes quite a but beyond "phobia", stupidity or lack of awareness.
This is hate, pure and simple. It is disgusting. It is dangerous. It is cancerous. It must be countered. And this goes for any issue of hate and discrimination.
If somebody says something that you know is not true, correct them.
If there is a movement to deny rights to members of your community, get active.
If you don't know enough, go learn, ask.
Don't know a Muslim? Call your local mosque and ask for a tour.
During the month of Ramadan, many mosques hold iftars (meals to break the daily fast) that are open to the whole community.
Aside from being a nice way to get to know others in your community and great learning opportunity, the food is often amazing and the mood joyous.
Just do something. To do nothing is to be complicit.
Peace/سلام

On World Humanitarian Day, a remembrance...

2010-08-19T01:01:00.007-04:00

Today is World Humanitarian Day. This is a day to celebrate the remarkable work that people are engaging in together around the world to try to make the world a better place for everybody.

This day was selected because on 19 August, 2003, 22 people were killed, including SRSG Sergio Vieira de Mello, when a truck bomb was detonated outside the UN mission HQs in Baghdad.

Humanitarian work, development work, social work, whatever you want to call it...comes with risks, for those who practice it and those who benefit from it, in much of the world. So today is a day to remember those who have lost their lives and to celebrate the ideals and work they were willing to risk their lives for in the first place.

And here, again, is the awesome video for the campaign:

Peace/سلام

Hanging out with kids: good for the soul

2010-08-16T23:16:00.005-04:00

At the moment: Grape-nuts, it's what's for dinner...at nearly 11pm. *sigh*
Listening to: People Have the Power by Patti Smith
Working on: Fulbright proposal & personal statement

I may not have any of my own, but I sure like kids. On the whole, I like them way more than grown-ups. All that non-linear thinking and such.
For example, anytime you ask my cousin's three year-old twins a question of "Why?" they will immediately and unfailingly answer with the deceptively simple, "That's why."
I can't figure out if it's more like a Zen koan or a politician's hollow non-answer.
The boy is a bit blasé about it, as though I should have know whatever it is all along. The girl sells the answer hard, punctuating with a jab of her hand and a roll of her eyes.
For three, they're pretty sure of themselves.
I'm going to try it out on my colleagues this semester.
Why?
That's why.
Peace/سلام

So what if it IS a mosque?

2010-08-16T19:21:00.008-04:00

There are a lot of things going on out there right now to think about and write about. Social Security, one of our most effective anti-poverty efforts, just turned 75 years young. One fifth of Pakistan is underwater with all the attendant humanitarian tragedy. U.S. combat troops are trooping out of Iraq - all done, lights out, thanks for the memories! The Lebanese and Israelis are really jumpy about tree pruning along their borders. People are once again laying bets about the likelihood of somebody - us, Israel, us, Israel...- striking Iran within the coming year. Russia is on fire. Darfur is still a mess. The UN is returning to Somalia, but there's still no functioning government. Yemen may run out of water. Gaza is still Gaza....

A lot of arguing and debating and work to be done, for sure.

However, one story that is not about a real debate at all is the so-called "debate" over the erroneously named "Ground Zero Mosque". I bring it up again because Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) today came out in favor of relocating the project. In short, he failed to lead and instead caved to the bigots.

No, it's not simply a mosque, it's a community center. Now, I kind of always think of mosques as community centers anyway. I've seen pilgrims sing and picnic in the Umayyad mosque in Damascus. Beat the midday heat with men and women under the eaves of al-Azhar in Cairo. Laughed at children chasing each other through countless prayer halls. I've watched groups of women conduct classes together at Eyup Mosque and had tea with the bawab of Kuçuk Aya Sofia and an amused group of elderly Turkish men who were respectfully curious about the foreign girl who had stuck around for the Friday khutba (sermon). They aren't like houses of worship that are primarily open one day a week for a few services. They are centers of their community and neighborhood. You come to meet, learn, laugh, eat, sleep, maybe do a little business...and often pray.

No, it's not at ground zero, but rather a few blocks away. It's in an old building that last housed a Burlington Coat Factory. And there's been a prayer space there for some time now. And the sky has yet to fall. To quote someone from the Internet, "When can we start calling it the Burlington Coat Factory mosque?" Did I mention there's a Muslim prayer space inside the Pentagon? You remember - the other site where people were killed on September 11th, 2001. Where the U.S. Department of Defense is headquartered. And nobody there seems to mind.

I met Faisal Abdul Rauf briefly, several years ago, after a wonderful interfaith worship service he'd participated in at the ornate cathedral in Louisville, Kentucky. I introduced myself, welcomed him to town and talked with him about Islam and Sufism a bit. He shook my hand, was a thoughtful speaker, generous with his time and unfailingly polite. Not big news, unless you're somebody trying to make him an evil demagogue. And, if you know anything about Cordoba under the Arabs...

And yet, even if it weren't something akin to the YMCA or the JCC. If it were solely an Islamic house of worship. If it were smack atop the World Trade Center site....
Thanks to our constitution and the rights guaranteed by that document that we ALL are supposed to enjoy, the developers would have every right to open their doors. I am reminded of Colin Powell's laudable comments regarding Muslim-Americans and the rumor mongering by some during the 2008 presidential campaign that, gasp, Obama is a Muslim: "So what if he is?!"

In fact, I'm incredibly tired of people pushing back with those two arguments: it's not at "Ground Zero" and it's not just a mosque. The simple fact is, it should not matter. Push back on the fact that it is against the intent and beliefs of our founding fathers, one of our founding documents, the rights we like to flaunt to the world to show how advanced we supposedly are. Push back against the fact that it is simply wrong. No caveats needed.

Living in majority Muslim countries, I sometimes meet people who are shocked when I tell them we have Muslims living in the U.S. I've corrected people who believed Islam is illegal here, that mosques are banned, that there are only Christians here. And I have corrected people who believe Americans hate Muslims.

"You can't be American," people declare. "But you speak Arabic!" "But you know about Islam, about our history!"
"Your father or your grandfather must be Arab," they insist.
Nope, I'm just an ajnabia, just an American girl who fell in love with the place and people. Somebody who believes both are so much more than most give them credit for. Who believes that the region will not be helped with guns alone. And I've been proved right on both counts again and again.

So all this cowardly, bigoted talk - let's be honest - against the Cordoba House project and Muslims in general hits me especially hard. And it leaves me supremely disappointed in those who love flying a flag on their car, but who obviously don't really believe in the founding principles of this country. I am disappointed in those who should know better, or who do but refuse to speak out, or who couch the argument in mild terms.

You want to fight al-Qaeda and the like? Support Cordoba House and when it opens hold the mother of all opening ceremonies: lots of crowds, VIPs and global media coverage. Corporate sponsorships, even. Lots of quotes and video clips on the importance of tolerance, freedoms, spaces for dialogue in our society. The fact that we are all Americans. All of us.

This isn't just about a mosque, though, it's about all of us in this country.
Are we who we claim to be as a country, as an ideal?
Right now, I'm not so sure.
Peace/سلام

PS: Here's something to consider...

Treaty of Peace and Friendship between the United States of America and the Bey and Subjects of Tripoli of Barbary

ARTICLE 11

As the government of the United States of America is not in any sense founded on the Christian Religion,-as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion or tranquility of Musselmen,-and as the said States never have entered into any war or act of hostility against any Mehomitan nation, it is declared by the parties that no pretext arising from religious opinions shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.

Social Media and Crisis Response

2010-08-12T15:29:00.008-04:00

Social media is a big nebulous thing that is not always useful (Lookin' at you Facebook). However, I've been following the live stream of the Red Cross Emergency Social Data Summit today and it's been very exciting to listen to all the uses of and possibilities for social media in emergency response and, I'd say, international aid and development. If you're into it, you can catch the replay here, I think.
And there's a really interesting ongoing conversation on Twitter at #crisisdata.
Peace/سلام

Where were my drummers this morning?

2010-08-11T13:02:00.006-04:00

Ramadan karim to all my friends and loved ones out there.
Though I'm subletting in a clatch of cottages full of musicians, no drummers came around to wake me up in the pre-dawn hours.
Hope everybody makes it through these long, hot summer days alright. Enjoy those great nights together with friends and family and food.
Peace/سلام

19 August - 2010 World Humanitarian Day

2010-08-09T18:18:00.001-04:00

19 August is World Humanitarian Day. The date was selected because on that day in 2003 a truck bomb was detonated beside the UN mission HQ in Baghdad, killing 22 people and leaving many more wounded.

This is what I study. This is what I do. The world is my country and this is my community. And, damn, was I excited to see they included social workers in this amazing group.
Peace/سلام

Into the final leg

2010-08-09T16:36:00.005-04:00

Re-reading: Alf layla wa layla (trans. by Haddawy)
Reading: Anything and everything on Iraqi refugees in Syria & Jordan and urban refugee populations overall (toss me anything you have).
Listening to: News in Arabic
Just watched: Restrepo (highly recommended)
Hoping: the rains stop in Pakistan; Israel & Lebanon keep their you-know-what together; Iraq forms a government, the UN's return to Somalia goes well.

I'm settled in my wee subletted cottage on the Southside. Settling in took about 30 mins. of unpacking my two bags. It's rather strange living alone again after so long. I keep expecting somebody to walk in the room yet they never do. You have to love a place where Woody Guthrie, Charles Bukowski (holding a glass of something, kissing his typewriter, bless him) and Rickie Lee Jones are all smiling at you when you walk in the door. I finally feel very Austin living in a cluster of cottages populated by musicians, only they're all on tour for the summer so it's pretty quiet.

Fall semester starts in a few weeks and it will be my last semester of graduate school classes, alhamdulillah! I'm interviewing soon for the final field internship I designed in the Middle East, which I shamelessly, desperately want. No matter what, I'll be on the road again come December for at least a semester-long internship (though may extend through summer) before receiving my shiny MSSW in May, inshallah. At the moment I am scrambling to get my Fulbright application finished. In my standard geeky fashion, I've crafted my own ambitious self-study syllabus for pushing ahead with my Arabic and already checked my course books out from the library. Should have them read by the second or third week of classes if I start now.

It was interesting to totally unhook for one last time this summer, but I'm ready to get back to work. I think it was a good choice given that I was ill the first few weeks, then exhausted, then dragged to visit relatives...next thing I knew I was slapped on an Austin-bound flight. Where did it all go? It was lovely to spend real time with friends (and their amazing, adorable offspring) and Um Taromeet. I got to revisit some of my favorite places, which is always special.

It's going to be a typically nuts semester and, as usual, it's my own fault. I like to be busy, to be working, planning and one thing is never enough. I'm a bit of an addict. Four classes - maybe five if I push on with an independent study - a TA position, two committee positions, my insanely intensive Arabic self-study program, an ongoing project...But, it's all good.

So what about this old blog? I'll keep chugging, posting when so moved.
Stewing, brewing and very disturbed over the NYC (and nationwide) mosque "controversy" (aka bigotry, intolerance, hypocrisy...). If you haven't read Mayor Bloomberg's great speech from last week, track it down and do so. It's on his Web site and there's a like from my Twitter feed. Juan Cole has an excellent post on what the Founding Fathers really thought about religious freedoms. I don't even want to talk about the upcoming Quran burning "festivities" in Florida other than to say that if there is going to be a second coming, I look for Jesus to be rather displeased with those folks, to say the least.

While all that hate has me down, I was incredibly pleased to see Prop 8 reversed (though certainly headed for SCOTUS). As a divorced hetero, I'd say my crowd is doing more than its fair share to "endanger" the institution of marriage. And yet the institution just keeps on ticking after all these zillions of years. And, since marriage here is a civil matter, please get your religion out of my government or your chocolate out of my peanut butter or whatever. Again, it's a right, you don't get to vote on those, folks, an you don't get to squirrel them away from others like nuts (or gold, canned goods and guns, in your case) for winter (or whatever tyrannical government/UN takeover fantasy you buy into).

Oh, and one last rant...Supreme Court Justice Kagan is now a baddie for not having had children? People, we females cannot win with you! If she had kids, you would be on a tear because she was leaving them in daycare and not spending enough time at home. As with so much else, damned if we do, damned if we don't. So, I offer those self-righteous, nosy folks the two-fingered Churchill salute and bid them adieu. Really, go do something useful. Go.
Peace/سلام

Sunday Briefing

2010-07-11T14:43:00.004-04:00

Watching: What do you think? Viva, España!

Some things are moving in positive directions:
I managed to find a sublet for my last semester that meets all my needs and I can move in as soon as I get back to Austin at the start of next month. It's just of Congress not far from the famous S. Congress strip, but not having a car I'm more jazzed about having a grocery store in walking distance. I don't think my back could have taken much more of my playing Sherpa. So, that's a huge relief...

And, of somewhat greater importance, there has been some positive movement on my final semester internship that has left me guardedly optimistic. I just found out I'll interview in a few weeks. To be able to work for the agency it is in the place I would be...it would just be amazing, personally and professionally. Fingers, toes and everything else crossed. It'll be a long few weeks, though. I just don't want to let myself get too excited...

Back to the match.
Trying to work and watch is not working. I give up.
Viva La Furia Roja!
Peace/سلام

No, there is no such thing as "polite racism."

2010-07-08T10:22:00.004-04:00

When I was young, in the days before there were, to quote Springsteen, "57 channels and nothin' on," you trusted the men who brought you the news each night on one of the three major networks. You just did; it was something ingrained, like sea turtle hatchlings heading towards the full moon. I'm old enough to remember watching Cronkite. Though Brian Williams' appearance in comedy skits makes me like the guy way more than his somewhat stiff anchor style - or is it really some sort of attempt at hipster irony - the times have changed. And the changes have not all been good, save a few things. One thing is the rise of The Daily Show.
For the below clip alone, I would like to hug each person who worked on the segment and Stewart himself.

The fear, racism, xenophobia, discrimination, violence and stupidity spins on and we've slipped backwards since 2001. Yes, blocking your neighbors from building their house of worship because of something somebody told you they heard from the Internets or from their cousin who heard it from a friend who heard it from Fox News, is not just stupid, it's discriminatory, and pretty blatantly racist. Oh, and, it's pretty damned un-American. Well, I guess it's not un-American according to your narrow, isolationist, bigoted conceptualization of the place, but hey. Am I angry? Yes, as an American AND a human being. I think you should be able to worship (or not!) and not have to worry about people tossing pipe bombs at your building. Silly me. I take that whole "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof" thing seriously. I know, crazy! And, I love and am proud of what most of this country aspires (and sometimes, admittedly, fails) to be. Maybe, MAYBE, someday everybody can crawl out of their trenches, cross the minefields, shake hands and actually work together to solve the real challenges. I know - radical! And, these days, I'm thinking not bloody likely.
Enjoy.
Peace/سلام

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Wish You Weren't Here

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show Full Episodes

Political Humor

Tea Party

Why, yes, I'll hold.

2010-07-07T16:40:00.003-04:00

Watching: the post-game analysis of the ESP-GER match. Viva, La Roja!
Reading: Cosmopolitanism by Appiah
On Deck: World Poverty & Human Rights by Pogge (gonna finish it this time!)
Recently really enjoyed: I Am Love
Excited about: Diving with friends on Friday

Not as exciting a match as I'd hoped, but Spain is on to the final Sunday, so it's all good.

I'm still on hold for my self-designed final internship for my graduate program. Heard back that they can't give me an answer until three months out, but my department says they need to know now due to their procedures. Note sure what will come of it, but I really hope it can be sorted out. It would put me back in my favorite place in the Middle East and (I suspect) give me a good launch for my post-academic life.

On the other hand, I'm having a hard time mustering in regards to my Fulbright application. Not sure if I am just burned out and ready to be gainfully employed or if I've just psyched myself out. I'm sort of running a parallel track at the moment researching ideas for either Egypt or Jordan. Both columns have pluses and minuses.

Not much going on really. I am just laying low and hiding out. It's what south Florida used to be famous for. It's a nice change, but I am getting itchy. I think I'm just feeling a bit on hold and ready to move forward.

Oh, and trying to find a place to live in Austin for 3.5 mos. If anybody has a room for rent...
Peace/سلام

Fight Like a Girl #4

2010-06-28T22:45:00.002-04:00

Happy belated birthday, Em.
We had some cake in your honor. Red velvet, of course.
Peace/سلام

دقيقة, من فضلك

2010-06-15T18:15:00.005-04:00

Reading: Nature Girl by Hiaasen
Listening to: The Rough Guide to the Music of Sudan
Recently seen: Manatees and dolphins around my kayak - awesome!

Yes, yes, I know. I haven't said a peep and there's been so much to peep about, as usual. I have some writings I'm working on and should get them up here soon. It's been so nice to have the time to sit and think, though I'm still trying to retrain and reclaim my brain from the skimming & scanning of school work. And I've been off kayaking in the lovely Ten Thousand Islands the last few days. Be patient. I'll get moving here soon.
Peace/سلام

Educational TV

2010-05-27T18:38:00.005-04:00

You may be wondering what's going on in the live video embedded above. It's live feed of the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico that resulted from the explosion and sinking of the Deepwater Horizon rig about a month ago. Eleven men working the rig were killed.

I've already posted my opposition to offshore drilling. This isn't the first spill - how inadequate a word, no? - and it won't be the last. Someone on the news noted that if we were serious about ending spills we would ban shipping oil in tankers, since they are the source of most spills, which I thought was an interesting point. Though I grew up on the Atlantic coast in Florida, I've spent plenty of time on the Gulf. With family in Mississippi, Louisiana and Texas, I know some of the areas that are making the news each night. My own state is holding its collective breath since our economy is pretty much entirely based on service industries and tourism, to say nothing about our seafood industry. Since I've been home, we've already had relatives cancel a planned trip because they thought the beaches here were affected (they aren't, nor the majority of Gulf beaches!). We're still waiting word on whether the latest attempt to stop the geyser of oil, the "top kill", have worked. I hope so, but we already have oil in the marshes of Louisiana that likely can't be cleaned out (image gum in your hair), brown pelicans and their eggs coated in oil not long after leaving the endangered list, gallons of chemicals being dumped into the Gulf with no real idea of the long-term effects, and the possibility of losing generations-old family businesses. And to think, just a few days ago BP CEO Tony Hayward was saying he thought the impacts of the rig disaster and spill would be "minimal." For starters, tell that to those eleven families who lost loved ones, Tony. Tell that to all the businesses along the Gulf linked to fishing. Hell, go try to scrub all that oil off those pelicans flailing about, unable to fly. And it's only been about a week since the US government told BP to cut back on dumping Corexit 9500 disperse the oil, due to concerns about environmental and health impacts, and the company all but blew government officials off and just kept dumping, creating a soupy mess that was highlighted by a news crew diving into the mess with Jacques Cousteau's grandson this week. Add to that the fact that members of Congress had to demand BP loosen their control on the video feed of the spill and provide access to the feed, even during this attempt to plug the well.

To claim that the Gulf was pristine prior to this would be a lie. There are red tides, dead zones and all sorts of man-made messes. But for about a day's worth of US oil consumption, we gambled with all this and lost. And we won't know everything that's lost tomorrow or the next day...some losses will take years.

Again, I hope this worked. I hope they stopped the flow of oil. Unfortunately, just as people stopped asking about and lost interest in New Orleans post-Katrina, people will lose interest in this story as they do all others when the drama fades, but the story will carry on for so many. Just don't let anyone fool you into thinking that protecting the environment is a choice between jobs and nature.
Anyway, enjoy the show.
Peace/سلام

Sort of like going to Turkey...or not

2010-05-22T07:27:00.004-04:00

It seems the nearby city of West Palm Beach is now a sister city (and undoubtedly BFFs) with the city of Mersin.

Hoşgeldiniz, Mersin. You're a lovely city, so don't let too much of the Florida crazy rub off on you.
Peace/سلام

Sand in my toes, water over my gills

2010-05-20T07:31:00.008-04:00

Listening to: Celia Cruz; Los Van Van; Warren; old Buffett; Rhythms and Songs for the Orishas
Reading: On the Beaten Track by Lippard; Ecosystems of Florida ed. by Myers & Ewel
RE-reading: The Everglades: River of Grass by Stoneman Douglas

Good morning and salutations. Writing this over tea and toast before heading back across the street to the beach for a swim. Yes, I am back in the banana republic that is my home state of Florida for a few months this summer. Plans abroad didn't shake out, no summer classes to take and after a very long academic year in which I oh-so-typically overloaded, nearly three months in the tropics sounded pretty good. Awaiting word on where I might be for my final internship come January. This time next year I'll have finished graduate school and be moving on to who knows what.

For the first time in a long time there are no plans...well, few plans, for the immediate future. I have to be back in Austin for my final semester of classes by 24 August. It's an odd feeling and I haven't quite adjusted yet. I got to meet a friend's amazing baby girl last weekend. I'm reading and rereading for pleasure, kayaking, swimming in the Atlantic, diving, fishing, camping, gardening...all the stuff I've been cut off from for a long time. And trying very hard to just be. I'll let you know if I figure that last one out. Maybe I can figure out this "balance" thing I hear so much about. And, like so many others, I'm keeping a wary eye on the spill in the Gulf.

Stone crab season just closed. It's sea turtle nesting season. Atlantic hurricane season starts on 1 June. Supposedly, once you get sand in your toes you'll always come back. I truly have a love/hate relationship with this place, which I'll probably write about here since most of what drives me mad are some of the same socio-econo-political issues plaguing a lot of places.

Right now, I need to get back in the water and wet my gills.
Peace/سلام

11. 5,000! 3,000.

2010-04-27T19:53:00.014-04:00

UPDATE: NOAA just revised their figures today in light of the discovery of an additional leak. 5,000 barrels a day spilling into the Gulf, or 210,000 gallons/day. Projected to make landfall in two days, despite today's burn off efforts. This is serious.

Shrimp and crab seasons are about to open in the Gulf. It's oyster spawning season. The Mississippi delta, barrier islands and wetlands are full of birds on their northward migration. Right now the slick is about 20 miles off the Louisiana coast, but nobody really knows where all this oil will end up. There's talk if conditions were right the oil could make it as far as the Keys. Today there was talk of burning the slick, but nobody seems to be able to answer what unintended consequences that might lead to, the impact on marine life. And, just like with the recent Massey coal mine disaster, there was industry pushback on safety regulations in the months leading up to this explosion. All of this on top of the already hurting Gulf's dead zone and red tides.

The Deepwater Horizon blew just after the Obama administration announced a plan to open more of the coasts to drilling. Certain groups in this country like to chant "Drill baby! Drill!" Damn the consequences and full steam ahead and what not.

11 dead, about 1,000 barrels leaking from the sea floor every day, over 3000 km of the Gulf already tainted and threats that, if they can't figure out how to cap this leak (about a mile under water), this could be one of the worst oil spills in US history. This isn't a choice between the environment or jobs, wildlife or people. This very much about jobs and worker safety. This is very much about coastal communities, currently holding their collective breath. And, yes, it's also very much about warblers, whales, dolphins, sea turtles, pelicans, grouper, jacks, tarpon, Mahi and cobia...

Surely we can do better.
Peace/سلام

Fight Like a Girl #3

2010-04-21T09:53:00.003-04:00

photo: AP

Dorothy Height

Fight Like a Girl #2

2010-04-19T13:27:00.007-04:00

Marjorie Stoneman Douglas
I'll be back in the Glades, one of my favorite places on Earth, soon.

Before I go off to collect dubloons in the sewer...

2010-04-14T13:55:00.003-04:00

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

That's Tariffic

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show Full Episodes

Political Humor

Tea Party

Pretty good description of trickle down econ. Of course they missed a chance to highlight the fact that in the U.S. the largest group in poverty are children, with the numbers for very young children (under 6) increasing rapidly.
Click on the post title if you have trouble with the embed.
Peace/سلام

Rube Goldberg & Selection Bias

2010-04-13T22:34:00.011-04:00

David Roodman, from the Center for Global Development, was the guest professor for my Development Econ class last week. Great session and here's the post to his CGD microfinance blog (good read) about some of it including his fun example of selection bias:

Roodman said NASA engineers worked on this video. To which I say, "Excellent, but where are my Martian colonies and hyperdrives?"
Peace/سلام

Fight Like a Girl #1

2010-04-09T23:22:00.005-04:00

Lalla Fatma N'Soumer

One That's Stuck With Me

2010-04-09T22:30:00.003-04:00

From a little paperback anthology of American women poets found on a dusty shelf in a second-hand bookshop years ago...this one has stuck with me.
The Poet's Wife Makes Him a Door So He Can Find the Way Home
by Nancy Willard

Nobody else makes doors like a poet's wife.

If she made a revolving door,
summer and winter would run like mice in a wheel.
If she made a door for the moon,
the dead would cross over alive.

Each door is a mirror.

So when the poet loses his way,
crossing the desert in search of his heart,
his wife hoists her lintels and straw on her back
and sets out, feeling his grief with her feet.

She calls up a door that shimmers like water.

She unfolds her palm trees and parrots.
And far away, his belly dredging the dunes,
the poet hears his heart spinning
straw into gold for the sun.

The palms bow. The parrots are calling his name.

He remembers the way home.

The More Things Change...

2010-04-07T22:20:00.001-04:00

Nefarious War
by Li Po (c.750)
Translated from the Chinese by Shigeyoshi Obata
Last year we fought by the head-stream of the So-Kan,
This year we are fighting on the Tsung-ho road.
We have washed our armor in the waves of the Chiao-chi lake,
We have pastured our horses on Tien-shan’s snowy slopes.
The long, long war goes on ten thousand miles from home.
Our three armies are worn and grown old.

The barbarian does man-slaughter for plowing;
On his yellow sand-plains nothing has been seen but blanched skulls and bones.
Where the Chin emperor built the walls against the Tartars,
There the defenders of Han are burning beacon fires.
The beacon fires burn and never go out.
There is no end to war!—

In the battlefield men grapple each other and die;
The horses of the vanquished utter lamentable cries to heaven,
While ravens and kites peck at human entrails,
Carry them up in their flight, and hang them on the branches of dead trees.
So, men are scattered and smeared over the desert grass,
And the generals have accomplished nothing.

Oh, nefarious war! I see why arms
Were so seldom used by the benign sovereigns.

Remembering Namir and Saeed

2010-04-07T08:25:00.006-04:00

“We talked about photography and what we would do after the war. Namir was good, he was a kind man, he was brave.”
Namir Noor-Eldeen was the Reuters photojournalist killed by U.S. forces, along with his driver, Saeed Chmagh, and ten others, in the shooting documented in a classified military video recently released by the Web site Wikileaks. Lens, the photography blog at the NYTimes Website has this remembrance that includes some of his amazing work. And here are the tributes from colleagues and friends on Reuters' blog from the day after the shooting in 2007.
Peace/سلام

Progress?

2010-04-06T19:43:00.009-04:00

I grew up by the ocean in south Florida. I learned to swim early enough that it's been said I spent nine months in the water (the womb), nine months out, and hopped right back in. Another friend once said God must have screwed up in the lab because I obviously should have been born a fish. I've been a diver since I was a kid and even spent a stretch working as an instructor after college. Even these days, when I'm away from the ocean for far longer than I'd care to be, I find ways to surround myself with little reminders - a bowl full of grain of rice-sized cowrie shells and quarter-sized sand dollars I picked up on dives back home, some paper-thin, deep purple shells I collected in southwestern Turkey, an intact seagull skull scavenged from the beach near my mom's, and lots of sea glass and sea beans. These days it may be a year or more between dives for me instead of the six or eight a day routine I kept up while working on dive boats, but the feeling is always the same when I hit the water and swim straight for the bottom - like going home.

Given all that, you can imagine my reaction to Pres. Obama's announcement on the expansion of offshore drilling. It's not a solution to anything and including it in climate change legislation is insulting. We've still only managed to explore about five percent of the world's oceans and seem intent on destroying them, one way or another, before we can even get a glimpse at the rest.
Oceanea
Surfrider

(images from the Surfrider Foundation, map from NYTimes)
Peace/سلام

"Collateral murder" and Langston Hughes

2010-04-06T07:00:00.006-04:00

Wikileaks reveals video showing U.S. air crew shooting down Iraqi civilians

Let America Be America Again (1938)
by Langston Hughes

Let America be America again.
Let it be the dream it used to be.
Let it be the pioneer on the plain
Seeking a home where he himself is free.

(America never was America to me.)

Let America be the dream the dreamers dreamed--
Let it be that great strong land of love
Where never kings connive nor tyrants scheme
That any man be crushed by one above.

(It never was America to me.)

O, let my land be a land where Liberty
Is crowned with no false patriotic wreath,
But opportunity is real, and life is free,
Equality is in the air we breathe.

(There's never been equality for me,
Nor freedom in this "homeland of the free.")

Say, who are you that mumbles in the dark?
And who are you that draws your veil across the stars?

I am the poor white, fooled and pushed apart,
I am the Negro bearing slavery's scars.
I am the red man driven from the land,
I am the immigrant clutching the hope I seek--
And finding only the same old stupid plan
Of dog eat dog, of mighty crush the weak.

I am the young man, full of strength and hope,
Tangled in that ancient endless chain
Of profit, power, gain, of grab the land!
Of grab the gold! Of grab the ways of satisfying need!
Of work the men! Of take the pay!
Of owning everything for one's own greed!

I am the farmer, bondsman to the soil.
I am the worker sold to the machine.
I am the Negro, servant to you all.
I am the people, humble, hungry, mean--
Hungry yet today despite the dream.
Beaten yet today--O, Pioneers!
I am the man who never got ahead,
The poorest worker bartered through the years.

Yet I'm the one who dreamt our basic dream
In the Old World while still a serf of kings,
Who dreamt a dream so strong, so brave, so true,
That even yet its mighty daring sings
In every brick and stone, in every furrow turned
That's made America the land it has become.
O, I'm the man who sailed those early seas
In search of what I meant to be my home--
For I'm the one who left dark Ireland's shore,
And Poland's plain, and England's grassy lea,
And torn from Black Africa's strand I came
To build a "homeland of the free."

The free?

Who said the free? Not me?
Surely not me? The millions on relief today?
The millions shot down when we strike?
The millions who have nothing for our pay?
For all the dreams we've dreamed
And all the songs we've sung
And all the hopes we've held
And all the flags we've hung,
The millions who have nothing for our pay--
Except the dream that's almost dead today.

O, let America be America again--
The land that never has been yet--
And yet must be--the land where every man is free.
The land that's mine--the poor man's, Indian's, Negro's, ME--
Who made America,
Whose sweat and blood, whose faith and pain,
Whose hand at the foundry, whose plow in the rain,
Must bring back our mighty dream again.

Sure, call me any ugly name you choose--
The steel of freedom does not stain.
From those who live like leeches on the people's lives,
We must take back our land again,
America!

O, yes,
I say it plain,
America never was America to me,
And yet I swear this oath--
America will be!

Out of the rack and ruin of our gangster death,
The rape and rot of graft, and stealth, and lies,
We, the people, must redeem
The land, the mines, the plants, the rivers.
The mountains and the endless plain--
All, all the stretch of these great green states--
And make America again!

Happy National Poetry Month

2010-04-05T13:36:00.002-04:00

OK, I'm five days late, but...April is National Poetry Month in the U.S. Unfortunately, the way most people are introduced to poetry in school seems to lead to them swearing off it forever for fear of not getting it. I keep poetry books by my bed the way some drunks stash a bottle. Gets me through. I'll try to share some of the good stuff over the next few weeks. Loosen up, read a little, and try to stop worrying about "getting it" and focus on feeling it. Also try this in front of certain works of art and at the opera or ballet. I've converted more than a few in my time.

Eating Poetry
by Mark Strand

Ink runs from the corners of my mouth.
There is no happiness like mine.
I have been eating poetry.

The librarian does not believe what she sees.
Her eyes are sad
and she walks with her hands in her dress.

The poems are gone.
The light is dim.
The dogs are on the basement stairs and coming up.

Their eyeballs roll,
their blond legs burn like brush.
The poor librarian begins to stamp her feet and weep.

She does not understand.
When I get on my knees and lick her hand,
she screams.

I am a new man.
I snarl at her and bark.
I romp with joy in the bookish dark.

P is for Procrastination

2010-04-03T12:42:00.005-04:00

My housemates are throwing some sort of Easter fête for our block and friends farther afield tomorrow. It's less about Jesus and more about lots of food, games and activities. And Bloody Marys. They went a bit nuts. Our kitchen table is buried in little plastic toys, chocolates, jelly beans, stuff for dying eggs...and somehow celebrating Easter now involves a goat piñata. I am reminded of trying to explain to my then-husband, new to the U.S., how bunnies, chocolate and eggs related to Jesus. So, I guess a sacrificial paper goat fits right in, really. In the interest of putting off work, I'm making two Key lime pies. Because why do the work you should be doing today when you can put it off for tomorrow? And you can never, ever, have too much Key lime pie. Ever. No, really, ever - I once brought a KLP to a haggis dinner.
Peace/سلام

Love

2010-04-01T10:12:00.011-04:00

My mental bandwidth is gummed up and my thinking is scatter-shot, but I still want to communicate. So, for now, I'll take a cue from If Charlie Parker was a Gunslinger..., one of my favorite blogs.
Gerda Taro and Robert Capa, Paris, 1935.
Gerda Taro at work during the Spanish Civil War.
He survived Spain, became famous, but never married. Thankfully, she's finally beginning to get the attention she deserves.
Peace/سلام

Four by Dorothy and a Pastiche for Gamze

2010-03-31T23:39:00.012-04:00

Because my friend said she still hadn't gotten around to reading Dorothy Parker...
News Item
Men seldom make passes
at girls who wear glasses.
Indian Summer

Song of Perfect Propriety

Chant for Dark Hours

And a Dorothy Parker pastiche I whipped up in barroom on-the-spot poetry challenge years ago:
Typical Man
A typical man I met on the street today
asked me,"What do you do for your pay?"
"A writer," said I.
And like a sock in the eye,
he said, "Oh, my dear, what a shame."

Peace/سلام

Blame the Jet Lag... or Florida

2010-03-29T18:41:00.005-04:00

"Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot." Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

Not that anyone should care, but I'm completely knackered, extremely slap-happy, and a bit consistently dizzy at the moment. I woke up at just before 5am this morning. Full-on woke up; just got up and went downstairs for coffee. And yet I still accomplished next to nothing today. My brain feels like it's been run through the blender like a piña colada...man, I loved those as a kid (sans rum!)...I digress. I blame jet lag and my own stupidity and lack of boundaries in taking on perhaps too much this semester. Oh, well. As my mother helpfully noted, "It's just another five weeks." At which point I dropped into full-on panic mode. Somehow my preferred use of the term "month and a week" had buffered the reality of my situation.

Anyway, I felt compelled to share this story I came across today from my home state, which only serves to highlight the truth in our unofficial state motto: "All the nuts roll down to Florida."
Not surprisingly, "The Impaler" is now running as a Republican. Should fit right in with the Grand Old Party.
Do yourself a favor and go read some of Hiaasen's books and then you'll understand where I'm coming from in more than the geographical sense.
At the moment I must present myself to the poor souls who are in a project group with me. Nothing like working with the living dead!
Peace/سلام

Gone to Texas

2010-03-28T10:55:00.003-04:00

"You may all go to hell and I will go to Texas."
Davy Crockett

Back in Austin at the end of a long, wonderful, busy trip. Woke up this morning and it me a few minutes to register where I was, whether it was day or night and what I was supposed to be doing. My brain felt like one of those little comic strip flip books.
I dive right into the final five weeks of the semester and several tons of related assignments. I'll break down the trip and resulting summer plans at a later time. Right now I have a mountain of readings, research and project tasks to stare at and try to make sense of...and likely procrastinate about a bit more.
Peace/سلام

Istanbul'da...

2010-03-24T06:27:00.004-04:00

Just a quick posting before I head off to another meeting. One week goes by much faster than I expected and I'm already feeling that heavy, creeping sadness as my departure date gets closer. It's been a very busy week, with at least one meeting every day with a different organization. One meeting may lead to my designing and implementing an outreach and evaluation project with refugees in late summer. Looks certain that I'll be dividing my summer between projects (and improving my language skills) in both Cairo and Istanbul, which thrills me.

I've managed to see squeeze in visits with just about all my friends here, too, which has been wonderful. Staying at a friend's pad overlooking the Bosphorus in Arnavutköy. A few people have commented that it's as though I never left or that it certainly didn't feel like a year and a half. It certainly felt a long time to me.

Off to listen to Selim Sesler with a friend tonight. Ricocheting between meetings on the European & Asian sides starting early tomorrow, but how I do love my ferry rides.
Peace/سلام

Shanghaied

2010-03-18T12:04:00.007-04:00

I was kidnapped this evening, not by extremists but by a tiny old man. I'd waded back into Khan Khalili to try to find a few specific mosques and historic sites and ended up wandering the tight back streets south of al-Azhar, where I'd walked around a few days ago. Didn't have a destination in mind, but all of a sudden a wiry little man appeared at my side and sputtered quickly in broken in English that he would show me the way out, his name is Fatih, the fact that his photo was published in a guidebook, that he has friends all over the world, that I would come with him because he was going my way to mosque and would I like tea or coffee. That he managed to cram all this information into about five seconds time was impressive. He insisted, insisted, I let him show me the way "out". "I not guide," he said, "no money. No money!" I knew this meant a sales pitch for something was inevitable. We were nowhere near the souq and on a rather dirty little back alley, so I figured he couldn't be selling anything, or at least not much. I kept insisting that I knew where I was going and was just out for a walk, but he would have none of it, ever so sweetly insisting I have a rest and some tea with him. He walked at a rapid shuffle of a pace and quickly arrived at a worn wooden door, which he unlocked with great flourish to reveal a downmarket Ali Baba's cave the size of a bathroom stall stuffed with old brassware, old found items and some inlaid boxes. He insisted I sit and ran off to fetch tea for us. I figured I'd sit for a minute and move on. I was wrong. As soon as he returned with a glass of dark tea, he launched into a sales pitch for the inlay work he, his father and grandfather had all produced (the few remains of which he indicated were all he had left to sell). He also seemed to be recruiting me, asking me at various moments to bring him a new version of the guidebook to Egypt, a camera phone for his daughter and more customers when I return to Egypt. All of this was delivered in his breathless, rapid-fire manner of speech while I just sat and listened and tried to figure out how to leave. He pulled out a few of the tiny boxes and just as quickly explained their merits while I tried to explain I hadn't intended to shop and didn't bring much money, that I'm just a student and I really was not in the market for anything. Of course that was just another form of engagement and he somehow interpreted this to mean the duel was on. With every protest from me, he lowered his price until he was willing to give me the little box and "you pay next time you come back." No matter what I tried he just smiled and continued his one way haggling mixed with questions about my family, studies and work. He kept gesturing to the collection of photos of himself with foreigners over the decades and business cards from around the world to emphasize his claims of fairness. It made for an interesting conversation but for the fact he didn't listen to a thing I said. It was getting late and I realized I wasn't going to win this one. I even tried explaining in Arabic that taking something without paying or paying such a low price made me feel shameful. No dice. With great flourish he finally stated that he would only take what I felt fair. In the interest of ever leaving the place, I paid him about 1$, more for the tea and conversation then for the little box. I am no expert in inlay, so for I know it'll be like the tourist items I saw in Istanbul and the stickers will fall off in a week. With that he jumped up and grabbed an old copper bowl, green with age and full of junk - buttons, scrap bits of inlay work, beads, coins... He declared he must give me some gifts to go in the box and quickly picked out a few choice items, put them in the box and wrapped it tightly in newspaper. And just as quickly we were off down the alleys, which actually made for an interesting tour. He showed me a few graves of principal early figures in Islam along the way and introduced me to the butcher, backer and lattice work maker along the way, again all at lightening-shuffle speed. He left me with an energetic handshake and many thanks at the old gates and I was left to drift back towards downtown through the souq and ponder what had just happened. Sure, I felt taken advantage of, but somehow Fatih managed to do it so I didn't much mind.
Peace/سلام

Musings

2010-03-17T15:25:00.006-04:00

Sitting in the lobby, having tea and eating the last of the little, round loaf of bread some Copts gave me today when I visited the Christian district. I've loved these little loaves and the tradition of giving them to the congregation since the Coptic fathers in Jerusalem gave me a stack at Gethsemane.

Tomorrow is my last day in Cairo before heading to Istanbul for a week. Then it's back to the U.S. and a very busy end of the semester. I'm more than a little worried about getting back on the wagon with my courses. The larger issue is just not wanting to go back to the U.S.

The visit to the village scheduled for tomorrow was pushed back, so I'll not be able to go this trip. The organization assured me they'll expect to see me when I return in May or June, insha'allah. A few meetings fell through, but overall I think it was a good way to start getting a feel for the place and the work being done here. Spent a productive hour with several staffers from an intergovernmental organization this morning. Decided to hit the library Thursday morning and instead walked along the Corniche to enjoy the cool weather, from my meeting in Maadi to the Coptic churches. Of course the enjoyment of the walk was somewhat tempered by the fact that I was walking beside a six-lane highway, but it was pleasant none the less. The Coptic quarter is a bit odd because it's essentially an enclosed area. Not that there are not churches elsewhere in the city, but this little cluster of historic churches unfortunately ends up feeling a bit Disney-ish with everyone herded together. Still there are some lovely details to be seen and as there are active congregations meeting in these churches, some while I was there, it provides a nice glimpse into a different and often overlooked element of Arab culture. By the way, for those who don't know, the service is (obviously) conducted in Arabic, which means reference is made to Allah. Yes, God is God, no matter how you say it. Visited Ben Ezra synagogue, but again, no photography is allowed.

So, tomorrow I'll hit the library for a bit when it opens and see if that bear fruit. I'll likely spend the rest of the day kicking around the old city. Somehow, calling it "Islamic Cairo" seems a bit silly and redundant. I may even brave the Khan again. There are a few sites I've missed, but mostly I just like kicking around that part of town. I'm certainly not as anonymous as I am downtown, but I get along just fine. Other than non-threatening stares and the random English word - usually "Welcome." and "Hello."- the only "harassment" I've received so far has been the throngs of school girls who have mobbed me at every site I've visited, wanting to talk and have me pose for photos with them. They've been surprised and amused that I speak Arabic, even if only Fusha, and it's never a chore to blow some stereotypes. They've also been quick to steer me away from school boys, who they typically describe as "stupid" and "dirty" though they seem fine to me, if a bit hyper. Always funny to see universality of "boys are gross". At the citadel, some of middle schoolers I'd talked to inside spotted me on my way out as they were getting ready to board their school bus and shouted me over to introduce me to even more of their friends. Their teachers were a but mystified, but gracious.

Also gracious was the older woman on the metro women's car who, after exchanging only a few words with me when we got on the train, ended up finding a seat and somehow making space for both of us and insisting that I sit with her. And then there was the woman who let me share a tiny both with her and her daughter at the koshary place I popped into this evening at rush hour. The little girl might be kindergarten age and spent the rest of our meal staring at me while her mom tried to get her to finish her meal. The girl and I finally gave up the fight to finish at the same time and my teasing agreement and gestures that there was simply no space left in us to stuff koshary met with a big smile and giggles.

When I moved to Syria in 2006, I'd actually considered going to Cairo instead. I'm glad I didn't. I feel like, for me, I made it here at the right time. I like it here, am getting my bearings, and will be glad to come back, though the summer heat will undoubtedly be a major challenge (to say the least). Yes, the place is mental, but it's somehow manageable. Yes, it's dirty and sometimes smelly, but it's somehow - even at it's worst - what I might call lush. It's a city of sensory overload. You smell dust, frying oil, bread in the oven, shit, exhaust, the damp of the river, the stink of the river, grilling meat, sweets, mint, incense, diesel, sweat...sometimes in sequence, sometimes all at once.

Unless it all collapses tomorrow and I have some horrid experience to radically alter my opinion, I've found people here to be generous, kind and helpful. They are also very blunt at times. Some may be rude, like the angry man in the ticket office at the pyramids who chewed me out about trying to use my school I.D. for a discount instead of an international student I.D. (though my card was accepted everywhere else), but those folks are not endemic to Egypt. Walking the Corniche today, I was rather sure I was close to the Coptic quarter and stopped to ask directions from an elderly man sitting in the gateway to one of the lovely gardens along the Nile. He said I was indeed close and gave me the brief directions I needed. As I stepped off the curb to run the gauntlet of traffic, he called me back and asked several times if I'd like him to walk me there and insisted he didn't mind. I declined with profuse thanks and he reiterated the directions before asking if I was certain I would be alright and waving me off.

The place is a good lesson in going with the flow, or as I've been joking to myself, going with the crazy.
So, one more day of floating in the current and sometimes swimming for an eddy.
Peace/سلام

Quick Cuts

2010-03-16T08:26:00.006-04:00

Meetings going well. Invited by the director of a human rights organization to visit a village near Cairo they work with on Thursday. A good bit of prep work required on my part to pull my limited Ama together. Two women from one of the partner villages were at the office when I arrived and we cobbled together a very funny conversation between their dialect and my fusha. Meeting with an international migration organization and some academics tomorrow. Keep trying to make it to the AUC's social research library, but their hours are right when people want to meet. Definitely realizing the need for much more language study, at least more vocabulary in addition to the dialect. I can get by alright, but you certainly can't work with people that way, as patient as they may be.

Visited the synagogue across from my hotel today, a bold, neo-Pharonic structure subtly named The Gates of Heaven. The front is lined with these striking art deco palm trees in relief. Unfortunately, security is extremely tight after an incendiary device was thrown at it not long ago. Had to show my passport, register twice and answer several questions. Worse, no photography allowed, which is truly a shame because the interior features some lovely art nouveau touches since it was completed in 1905. Worth it, though, because it's a lovely building and an interesting bit of history. Supposedly the Jewish community here numbers about 100 and the synagogue is only used for high holy days. Trying to visit the Coptic quarter after morning meetings tomorrow and hope to weasel my way into the recently restored Maimonides synagogue. Due to the closures imposed on Palestinians by the Israelis this week, the Antiquities Department canceled a scheduled opening ceremony.

Had a very good talk with the staff at Fair Trade Egypt, the only such organization in the country. Might be working with them informally when I (hopefully) return this summer. They work with about 40 communities around the country and their small HQ in Zamalek features really a nice shop that's nowhere near as expensive as the rest of Zamalek. Be ware of any neighborhood where the restaurants charge a cover.

Most amazingly, I had my first cab driver have and offer to use a meter! The price ended up half the price I was told I should bargain for. I had to ask him about three times, much to his amusement. And he turned up the football match so I could listen in.

Sorry, Egypt, but I'm not digging your version of felafel. But though I never previously would have considered broad beans to be sandwich filling, I'm a bit besotted with ful & egg sandwiches. And aish merahrah is a close rival in my heart to the hearty bled(country) bread I loved in Morocco. Could have stayed and had mint tea after mint tea with the bookbinders all afternoon.

Just when I think I've got the city center figured out, I try to take an ever so slightly different way and end up all turned around, but not too far off the trail. I suppose everyplace is like this to an extent - Istanbul certainly is - but I feel you could live here all your life and still find something new, surprising, whatever, each day. I do feel a bit more a part of the flow, as much as one can in just two weeks.

Have to get some work time in for tomorrow's meetings and those in Istanbul. Looking forward to seeing friends. Can be a bit lonely at times on the road...Hard to think about going back the the U.S. again, though.
Peace/سلام

Now I feel like I'm in Egypt

2010-03-11T17:43:00.004-05:00

Finally saw the pyramids today! Well, saw them from the back seat of a taxi, stuck in evening traffic on the Corniche along the Nile and they were way off in the distance, but I SAW them. And at sunset, so very cinematic.

Also rode with my first crazed Cairo cabby tonight. Went up to Nasser City to visit with a professor of social work who runs a family services center. The driver on the ride back was absolutely mental. The first time I actually had to force myself to look away from what lay ahead. I ended up slung around like a dog's chew toy. Add to that the fact that the taxi rattled so bad you would have thought we were pulling Gs and about to shatter. Prior to this guy, I didn't get what all the fuss was about.

Yes, the conference is over. My head's a bit sore from trying to translate things on my own. Did better than I'd hoped. Connected with a few professors with similar interests and we're trying to meet up next week. Sadly, had to say goodbye to my flock of students, but I'll write more about that later. It's 1am and I'm wide awake, which is completely off for me. Of course, the rest of town is up, too. Spending quality time at mathaf al-maSry - the Egyptian Museum - in the morning and supposed to attend a play tomorrow night. Have about three days to cram in some sightseeing before my meetings start next week.
Peace/سلام

Living Like a Rockstar

2010-03-10T14:02:00.005-05:00

The conference has proved interesting already. First, I miraculously made it to Helwan, far on the south side of the city, after the driver had to change a tire and then stop repeatedly to reattach said tire before speeding off down the Nile road again. I was left wondering exactly what happens to a speeding car if a rear tire comes off while trying to enjoy the less warm morning air.

At the main gate I asked one of the security officers to point me towards the conference hall. Instead, he commandeered the vehicle of a lovely woman dropping her daughter off at school and demanded that they take me across campus. Mom was very sweet and insisted it was not a problem. Unfortunately, she didn't know where we were going either and finally asked if I wouldn't mind if we just dropped her daughter off first so she wouldn't be late for class. She then had the grace and class to smile, ask my name and welcome me to Egypt profusely when we finally found the place.

I can't say I've been to another conference where I had to walk a red carpet, flanked by young people with ceremonial sashes and swarmed by papparazzos of sorts. Once again, I find myself the sole ajnabia (foreigner). Actually, that's not totally true. Turns out there are a few professors from Kuwait and Saudi Arabia attending, but I'm the only non-Arab and thus the only one whose Arabic is limited. Translation has been provided in the past and it was assumed by others that it would be provided this year. Well, it's just not cost-effective for me and after asking about headphones I was passed person to person and sort of eventually ignored.
Being a big fan of self-advocacy, I just starting asking people with conference badges if they could help me out. Oh, and nobody had me on the list, I guess, because no badge for me. The ladies at the table smiled, handed me a vinyl laptop bag and ushered me on. Finally somebody grabbed a fourth year undergrad student who spoke English and, bless her, when she determined there would be no translation, simply drafted herself into my service as an assistant and translator. Luckily, she also has a very good sense of humor and provided good color commentary during the speechifying by the VIPs at the opening ceremonies.

In fact, the day was more or less salvaged by students who seemed to sense what I needed before I did. And these were mostly undergrads. They would alternately swarm and subside, asking me questions about me, the U.S., social work. One girl grabbed my cup to force her way to the hot water for tea during the break, another guy wrestled a snack plate from other attendees for me, and a few kept trying to figure out how to get me a badge even after I'd given up. A few students and faculty asked for my help in studying in the U.S.

I must add here that somehow, simply by arriving in Egypt, I have acquired an honorary PhD because a fair number of people introduce me as doctora. Yes, I do try to correct them, but the title seems to have stuck.

In the end, a crowd of students sort of adopted me and treated me like a cross between a professor-pet-big sister-rock star. These guys were lining up to have their picture taken with me. Trust me, this has never happened in my nearly 36 years on this planet. We ended up sharing lunch in the school cafeteria, always an interesting perspective on a school. Two of the women live near where I'm staying and brought me home via the Metro, which is not so bad above ground but an endurance test at rush hour on the subterranean leg for even the heartiest soul.

So, did I learn much? Sure, just not what I expected. Tomorrow, the last day, will feature panels on the papers and there are several I am very interested in. I just hope I can follow along. I plan to hunt down the paper authors, if need be.

Next week I have a few meetings with Egyptian and international NGOs about their development work here. And somewhere in the next week I am squeezing in some sites. I really need a map. I just cannot put the parts of this place together yet.
Peace/سلام

A View From the Bridge

2010-03-09T14:58:00.004-05:00

Looking south, up the Nile, in downtown Cairo today.
I know of none (so correct me if I'm wrong), but this place should be a hotbed of great sci-fi writing for it's physical setting alone. The city sits under feet of dust like a lost city too quickly reclaimed. Very surreal in places. A dry, dystopian vision of the hot, dry, crowded future facing much of the world.
Peace/سلام

Initial observations on the journey

2010-03-08T15:15:00.007-05:00

Bit of an ad-hoc post, but I've been in Cairo for about 24 hours and have learned a few things along the way:

I love Turkey more than maybe I thought. I literally got giddy on our descent over the Marmara, even though I had I was only stopping for a brief layover on this leg of the trip. A professor from one of the Istanbul universities I made friends with on the flight said perhaps I'll get to "come home for good" someday. My Turkish came back faster than I thought. And, as usual, everybody thinks I'm Turkish, even the Egyptians.

As for Cairo...
Egyptians may be to Arabic as Cubans are to Spanish.
If you had to describe the city in a single word: brown.
I am beginning to think Egyptians invented the energy drink because they never seem to quit. Even on our little back alley, the action kept going until 2am. And I know this because that's when I was having "dinner".
Cairo has the best pedestrian crossing signs ever - a little green LED man running for his life.
Attending an all-day workshop in a language other than your own is not a great choice when jet lagged, but being the only ajnabia at the table is always fun.
Spending half a day with a local patient trying to navigate services in a public hospital in the developing world is fascinating (as long as the patient is not you). Excellent lesson in the need for self-advocacy.
Walk with purpose when crossing the street and do not flinch. Drivers can smell fear. Make eye contact and they almost always let you pass.
I cannot tell you where I am staying in Cairo other than that it's in or near Mohandessine. Maybe. We rode long enough in the taxi from the airport that I was beginning to think she lived in Alex. I know I'm west of the Nile because I remember crossing that...
Anyway, if I don't sleep I may drop.
More when I have it. Conference starts day after tomorrow.
Peace/سلام

Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go!

2010-03-05T10:03:00.004-05:00

I'm wheels up for Cairo, and subsequently Istanbul, in 24 hours. I'm hoping my welcome in Cairo will rival ElBaradei's. O.k., I jest. It's been a bit of an arduous week with exams, presentations and meetings galore, helped little by the fact that I have hit some sort of personal line in the sand energy-wise by cramming over two-thirds of the work for this semester into the previous weeks. Luckily, a friend in my Development Policy course offered to roll me into the corner should I fell out of my chair. Joey Ramone is bouncing around my brain, though sedatives would be highly counterproductive at this point:
"Put me in a wheelchair, get me on the plane! Hurry, hurry, hurry, before I go insane. I can't control my fingers, I can't control my brain. Oh, no, no, no oh-oh."

I've set up several meetings with development-related organizations and professionals in both cities. In addition to the Helwan Social Work conference, I've been invited to some meaty-sounding workshops on human rights, women's empowerment and policy development. If anybody has anything else for me, please leave a comment.

Add to all that, I'm lucky enough to get to revisit dearly missed friends.
For now though, I just have to get through today...Hit it, Joey.
Peace/سلام

Stand up and fight for your education!

2010-03-02T17:27:00.009-05:00

From student organizers:
Rally at UTAustin, Thursday, March 4, 11:30 AM
Gather at UT West Mall steps (west side of Tower)

"In response to a massive budget shortfall, slashing of funding for public education at all levels, and skyrocketing college tuition costs, students and educators up and down the state of California have been mobilizing, culminating in a call for a day of action on March 4. At the University of Texas at Austin, various colleges and departments have been laying off staff and instructors, throwing UT employees to the wolves and reducing the quality of education despite a relatively shallow budget deficit. Next came news of a 8% tuition increase over the next two years — after tuition at UT has doubled over the last decade — and the closing of the beloved Cactus Café. Now Gov. Perry is demanding another $29 million cut from UT’s budget. Enough is enough. Students and educators shouldn’t have to pay for the crisis others created.

On March 4, join a demonstration at UT to defend public education. Come out and demand: Stop the cuts and layoffs! Protect our education! Stop raising tuition! Save the Cactus! Equal benefits for all UT employees!

Endorse the March 4 Day of Action at UT to Defend Public Education. Email your name and title, or that of your organization, to enmarterre@gmail.com"

You can RSVP via Facebook here.

Peace/سلام

Vote Corporate Interests!

2010-02-28T21:55:00.007-05:00

This post is brought to you by the letter P for Procrastination.

Seems as though the recent U.S. Supreme Court decision unfettering corporate influence on government escaped some people's attention. Here's the inevitable result...

Oh, and, my sincerest apologies to the good people in Blighty regarding the latest U.S. export.

This time next week I'll be in Egypt. Wallah!
(cue ululating)
Peace/سلام