It's late and I have to get up early to help out at Om-Taromeet's elementary school on the last day of the school year, so I don't have anything rich to add for now. However, I did want to share this article from the New York Times about the need for and evolution of the "Rare American Imam", which makes them sound like they're found in game preserves and zoos.
HijabMan, are you listening? We need you! And your balloons!