Mind blown from: Doctor Who, "The Almost People" (Thank you, Interwebs!)
Working on: Final touches of my final draft of my project report for UNHCR
Worried about: When everybody else at HQ gets to make changes to said report
Listening to: Gil Scott Heron (R.I.P.)
Huh. So. Uuuummm....
This showed up in my inbox late yesterday:
"Several weeks ago, you should have received a hard copy letter from my office indicating that you were named an alternate for an award to Jordan. While your alternate status for that country has not changed, I got word from my colleagues at the U.S. Department of State about a grant opportunity in Tunisia that’s recently opened. In looking through the applications of the remaining alternate candidates for the Near East/North Africa region, they felt that your project might be one that could be workable/transferable to this new location. While the Fulbright program is not able to actually offer you a grant at this time, I wanted to ask whether you’d at least be amenable to having your application considered for Tunisia?"
I of course told them to chuck my chapeau right into that Tunisian ring.Vive le chaos!
Speaking with Fulbright folks after the holiday weekend to try to figure out what's what with all this. More news to follow soon.
Peace/سلام
28 May, 2011
25 May, 2011
The weather is here, I wish you were beautiful
*Title of post borrowed from a good ol' Buffett song*
Reading: Celebration by Harry Crews
Listening to: My ocean & the wind in the palms
Things are ending and hopefully some beginnings are around the corner.
I've been home in Florida for about three weeks now. The first week or so was spent trying to putting together a full draft of the report on my UNHCR project. Now I'm waiting to get that back from the colleagues in the Staff Welfare Section so we can get the final draft put to bed next week. I'm still following up with participants, staff members and families, to thank them for their time and input. Given organizational culture and that no one from the organization has ever reached out to families in a coordinated way, I'm truly thankful at the overwhelming candor and willingness to believe in the possibility of positive change.
I'm officially a graduate of graduate school, a master of social work. And when you finish something, anything, everyone's immediate question is, "What's next?" Oh, it's like being 18 all over again. What am I going to do with the rest of my life? *groan*
First task: getting sorted with regards to my loans. I was lucky enough to avoid loan debt as an undergrad and I now understand how that debt must be a massive determinant for young people finishing their bachelor's degree. It's certainly weighing on my mind as I start looking for a job. Granted my total debt is about as much as a year's tuition at some private universities, but it's still significant and carrying any debt makes for an uncomfortable situation.
Second task: Finding employment. Despite the feelings of panic that rear up now and then, stopping me cold, I am trying to think tactically about my next moves. I'm starting locally and working out. The trick is, I don't fit well into people's boxes or ideas about careers paths and job descriptions. I would like to recommit to my home state, stick around to lend my skills & energy to try to turn the place around (at least a bit), but that depends on finding the right job with the right folks and may just come down to finding a job period. In addition to applying for jobs, I'm starting to reach out to people who are involved in interesting, dynamic things to try to engage them in conversation.
In between all that, I'm taking time to soak in my ocean, spend time with friends and family, and get back into a real practice of writing and photographing.
So, again, bear with me.
Everything's still in flux, though I'm not sure things ever really settle down.
Peace/سلام
Reading: Celebration by Harry Crews
Listening to: My ocean & the wind in the palms
Things are ending and hopefully some beginnings are around the corner.
I've been home in Florida for about three weeks now. The first week or so was spent trying to putting together a full draft of the report on my UNHCR project. Now I'm waiting to get that back from the colleagues in the Staff Welfare Section so we can get the final draft put to bed next week. I'm still following up with participants, staff members and families, to thank them for their time and input. Given organizational culture and that no one from the organization has ever reached out to families in a coordinated way, I'm truly thankful at the overwhelming candor and willingness to believe in the possibility of positive change.
I'm officially a graduate of graduate school, a master of social work. And when you finish something, anything, everyone's immediate question is, "What's next?" Oh, it's like being 18 all over again. What am I going to do with the rest of my life? *groan*
First task: getting sorted with regards to my loans. I was lucky enough to avoid loan debt as an undergrad and I now understand how that debt must be a massive determinant for young people finishing their bachelor's degree. It's certainly weighing on my mind as I start looking for a job. Granted my total debt is about as much as a year's tuition at some private universities, but it's still significant and carrying any debt makes for an uncomfortable situation.
Second task: Finding employment. Despite the feelings of panic that rear up now and then, stopping me cold, I am trying to think tactically about my next moves. I'm starting locally and working out. The trick is, I don't fit well into people's boxes or ideas about careers paths and job descriptions. I would like to recommit to my home state, stick around to lend my skills & energy to try to turn the place around (at least a bit), but that depends on finding the right job with the right folks and may just come down to finding a job period. In addition to applying for jobs, I'm starting to reach out to people who are involved in interesting, dynamic things to try to engage them in conversation.
In between all that, I'm taking time to soak in my ocean, spend time with friends and family, and get back into a real practice of writing and photographing.
So, again, bear with me.
Everything's still in flux, though I'm not sure things ever really settle down.
Peace/سلام
24 April, 2011
Quick hit dans Paris
Busy time of transition. I'm in Paris at the moment, in the last full day of a fabulous 10-day break before heading back to the New World. I leave Geneva on 29 April, bound for Florida. And I have to catch a train back to Geneva on Monday. And we wrap my final course of graduate school on Mon night. And I have to pack. And I have to wrap up things at UNHCR HQ. So, be patient. I promise many more posts ahead in coming weeks; I've a lot to process and whatnot (and not just data for the UNHCR project).
Bon soir, y'all.
Bon soir, y'all.
27 March, 2011
Reading is good for you. Go read this.
Wow.
Not the blog post to read to lift my spirits, given I just rang up my student loan totals. Times like this I need more interesting vices or something. However, I think this post relates to anyone out there looking to combine activism and work. It certainly hit home for me as I start the terrifying post-grad school job search. And it relates to my thoughts and criticisms on activism, the social work profession (as seen through my educational experience) and how I feel getting ready to be spat out of grad school as unsure as when I started. Yet, more pissed off. So, there's that. That post will come soon enough, when I've got a bit more bandwidth...and my very expensive piece of paper in my hands.
Anyway, please do read When the Movement Disappoints by Steph over at Feministe (read through the comments, too).
Peace/سلام
Not the blog post to read to lift my spirits, given I just rang up my student loan totals. Times like this I need more interesting vices or something. However, I think this post relates to anyone out there looking to combine activism and work. It certainly hit home for me as I start the terrifying post-grad school job search. And it relates to my thoughts and criticisms on activism, the social work profession (as seen through my educational experience) and how I feel getting ready to be spat out of grad school as unsure as when I started. Yet, more pissed off. So, there's that. That post will come soon enough, when I've got a bit more bandwidth...and my very expensive piece of paper in my hands.
Anyway, please do read When the Movement Disappoints by Steph over at Feministe (read through the comments, too).
Peace/سلام
19 March, 2011
Sea change & Spillover
"I was surprised by your email," the colleague, an alum of my grad program, said over the phone earlier this week. "It sounds like you're just packing up and going home."
She had called to let me know that lunch for later in the week was off. She was being sent for a training that she had tried, without luck, to get out of. I had already offered to help out her husband with babysitting over the weekend. A gal's gotta make money somehow and I like their kids.
At the end the end of my email to her confirming my availability, I wrote that I would likely be gone by June 1, seeing no feasible way or justifiable reason to stay through June with student loans coming due and gainful employment needing to be found.
On the phone that night she sounded concerned and somewhat insistent, asking if there was any way I could stay, any way the organization could keep me on, had I asked around. I told her the answer was no, to the best of my knowledge.
"But there should be demand for somebody with your background and who speaks Arabic," she said and insisted I talk to her husband, who works for an NGO, this weekend. I did add that my Arabic is not fluent, but she insisted intermediate is better than none.
My section chief keeps insisting they are thrilled with my work and "you are welcome to stay as long as you like." She tells me having an experienced professional working for free can only benefit them, so it is a rather sweet deal. I appreciate the sentiment, but it just leaves me giggling to myself a bit. There's no way I could possibly stay, barring adoption by a patron or the offer of a paycheck. U.N. rules are that you can't so much as offer a consultancy to an intern for 6 months, much less a job. There may be other possibilities, but there are bigger issues for me at the moment.
You could sum things up in a word: spillover.
This project for my internship - essentially a needs assessment of international staff families, though people keep insisting they don't want to call it such - has been great in many ways. First and foremost, the chance to talk with and help share the stories of an interesting and diverse group of families and people. It's been a professional, challenging task that plays on several strengths of mine. I am forever thankful that it wasn't me sitting at a desk passing time, forced into a role that simply did not suit or benefit, waiting for people to show up.
However, you cannot listen to these stories and not have it impact you somehow. The effect of the project on me has been a serious bout of self-reflection and reconsideration of a lot of things I assumed were important in life. This is not a bad thing. I would argue vociferously that you can only help others to the extent that you yourself are working from a healthy, whole place.
For years I've been on the go, hopping continents and new experiences. It's been interesting, fun at times, horrible at others. I've learned a ton, made wonderful friends, and had amazing experiences. Trick is, I let a lot of things go in pursuit of something I wasn't real sure of. In career management speak, I've not been living my values.
"At some point you get tired of moving around, you just end up comparing one place to the last place, but you look around and you've lost all your connections to home and you're in a spot where you can really leave the pension and benefits," said one person I interviewed.
What I was tasked with may be program development, but it's also been talking with people about a lot of pain, sadness, and frustration. It's reminded me so much of work with marginalized communities, where a group has decisions made for them and is given no means of providing input, often with dire consequences.I'm thankful for the opportunity and for the openess and candor of those I've spoken to. At this point, I really feel my commitment is to them, to try to accurately convey their lives and stories in a way that might be taken up and considered by the agency.
Last week I booked a ticket back to the U.S.: Zurich to Miami. Cheap ticket on a German low-cost airline. I may have to stand in the aisle or sit on the wing, but I've got an iPod and can bring my own peanuts. Luckily, I was able to cancel at the last minute.
When I told my direct supervisor that I'd booked she seemed surprised. "So you will be staying through May?" she asked."Well, I thought we'd agreed I would leave at the end of May," I said."If you will have completed the hours your department requires and if after Paris you will just be writing the report, I thought you would finish that at home," she said. "That way you save money, can start looking for work, it will be less stress for you..."I told her I wasn't sure and she said I would just have to let her and our section chief know by this Friday.
This week I took them up on the offer. I leave Geneva on 29 April, having managed to find a ticket from Geneva and on real airlines, headed back to my home state of Florida for the time being. I am committed to crafting a strong, quality report. I can help finish it during review and revisions, but the actual final product ans what anyone here does with it is out of my hands. I think some space and sunshine will help in the writing process. The preliminary draft of the report is due 6 May and the final draft, at least what I'll be producing, is due on 20 May. And then that's that.
The inevitable question is "What now?" A liberating, exciting, and terrifying question all at once.Things are popping in my mind, but I barely have the headspace to make a grocery list at the minute. Let me focus on finishing my interviews, my break in Paris, and getting myself back stateside before I even try to answer. I'm sure I'll ruminate on the matter here before then, but give me some leeway, please.
Peace/سلام
She had called to let me know that lunch for later in the week was off. She was being sent for a training that she had tried, without luck, to get out of. I had already offered to help out her husband with babysitting over the weekend. A gal's gotta make money somehow and I like their kids.
At the end the end of my email to her confirming my availability, I wrote that I would likely be gone by June 1, seeing no feasible way or justifiable reason to stay through June with student loans coming due and gainful employment needing to be found.
On the phone that night she sounded concerned and somewhat insistent, asking if there was any way I could stay, any way the organization could keep me on, had I asked around. I told her the answer was no, to the best of my knowledge.
"But there should be demand for somebody with your background and who speaks Arabic," she said and insisted I talk to her husband, who works for an NGO, this weekend. I did add that my Arabic is not fluent, but she insisted intermediate is better than none.
My section chief keeps insisting they are thrilled with my work and "you are welcome to stay as long as you like." She tells me having an experienced professional working for free can only benefit them, so it is a rather sweet deal. I appreciate the sentiment, but it just leaves me giggling to myself a bit. There's no way I could possibly stay, barring adoption by a patron or the offer of a paycheck. U.N. rules are that you can't so much as offer a consultancy to an intern for 6 months, much less a job. There may be other possibilities, but there are bigger issues for me at the moment.
You could sum things up in a word: spillover.
This project for my internship - essentially a needs assessment of international staff families, though people keep insisting they don't want to call it such - has been great in many ways. First and foremost, the chance to talk with and help share the stories of an interesting and diverse group of families and people. It's been a professional, challenging task that plays on several strengths of mine. I am forever thankful that it wasn't me sitting at a desk passing time, forced into a role that simply did not suit or benefit, waiting for people to show up.
However, you cannot listen to these stories and not have it impact you somehow. The effect of the project on me has been a serious bout of self-reflection and reconsideration of a lot of things I assumed were important in life. This is not a bad thing. I would argue vociferously that you can only help others to the extent that you yourself are working from a healthy, whole place.
For years I've been on the go, hopping continents and new experiences. It's been interesting, fun at times, horrible at others. I've learned a ton, made wonderful friends, and had amazing experiences. Trick is, I let a lot of things go in pursuit of something I wasn't real sure of. In career management speak, I've not been living my values.
"At some point you get tired of moving around, you just end up comparing one place to the last place, but you look around and you've lost all your connections to home and you're in a spot where you can really leave the pension and benefits," said one person I interviewed.
What I was tasked with may be program development, but it's also been talking with people about a lot of pain, sadness, and frustration. It's reminded me so much of work with marginalized communities, where a group has decisions made for them and is given no means of providing input, often with dire consequences.I'm thankful for the opportunity and for the openess and candor of those I've spoken to. At this point, I really feel my commitment is to them, to try to accurately convey their lives and stories in a way that might be taken up and considered by the agency.
Last week I booked a ticket back to the U.S.: Zurich to Miami. Cheap ticket on a German low-cost airline. I may have to stand in the aisle or sit on the wing, but I've got an iPod and can bring my own peanuts. Luckily, I was able to cancel at the last minute.
When I told my direct supervisor that I'd booked she seemed surprised. "So you will be staying through May?" she asked."Well, I thought we'd agreed I would leave at the end of May," I said."If you will have completed the hours your department requires and if after Paris you will just be writing the report, I thought you would finish that at home," she said. "That way you save money, can start looking for work, it will be less stress for you..."I told her I wasn't sure and she said I would just have to let her and our section chief know by this Friday.
This week I took them up on the offer. I leave Geneva on 29 April, having managed to find a ticket from Geneva and on real airlines, headed back to my home state of Florida for the time being. I am committed to crafting a strong, quality report. I can help finish it during review and revisions, but the actual final product ans what anyone here does with it is out of my hands. I think some space and sunshine will help in the writing process. The preliminary draft of the report is due 6 May and the final draft, at least what I'll be producing, is due on 20 May. And then that's that.
The inevitable question is "What now?" A liberating, exciting, and terrifying question all at once.Things are popping in my mind, but I barely have the headspace to make a grocery list at the minute. Let me focus on finishing my interviews, my break in Paris, and getting myself back stateside before I even try to answer. I'm sure I'll ruminate on the matter here before then, but give me some leeway, please.
Peace/سلام
05 March, 2011
Ch-ch-changes
Not a Bowie fan? *hurumph* Shame on you.
You may notice tweaks to the blog in coming weeks. Just a long overdue revamp and who knows what else.
One thing I'm considering is dropping the blogger name I've used since starting the blog way back in ye olden times of 2006. Not sure why I ever used one since it's not like I'm dishing state secrets. And it's not like if you wanted to know who I am you couldn't find out.
Part of me loves my unofficial title, granted by my ex-husband, and part of me now finds having a pen name a bit silly. Mostly I'd hate giving it up because I love the Amazigh culture and mythology tied to the name. Who doesn't love being tagged an ogre by their husband?
Anyway, we'll see...
You may notice tweaks to the blog in coming weeks. Just a long overdue revamp and who knows what else.
One thing I'm considering is dropping the blogger name I've used since starting the blog way back in ye olden times of 2006. Not sure why I ever used one since it's not like I'm dishing state secrets. And it's not like if you wanted to know who I am you couldn't find out.
Part of me loves my unofficial title, granted by my ex-husband, and part of me now finds having a pen name a bit silly. Mostly I'd hate giving it up because I love the Amazigh culture and mythology tied to the name. Who doesn't love being tagged an ogre by their husband?
Anyway, we'll see...
Peace/سلام
Warning: existential crisis (again)
Reading: Shadow Country by Matthiessen (amazing, but you should have been reading him for years now)
Listening to: Helplessness Blues by Fleet Foxes; Wonder Why We Ever Go Home by Jimmy Buffett
Excited about: Chamber music concert at St. Peter's Cathedral Friday night (finally they grant me a student discount!)
It's been a month since I put anything up here? Really? I'd honestly imagined I'd posted something in between, but apparently not. It's a busy time and, at the same time, a quiet time of introversion and introspection.
My project for my internship at UNHCR is off and running. The response has been wonderful, well beyond what anyone expected and a bit overwhelming. Right now, I'm trying to keep up with replying to emails from staff & families wanting to participate and scheduling everybody for interviews. I believe I've mentioned here earlier that I consider this a bit similar to community work I've done in the U.S. and MENA with marginalized communities. These families have many decisions in life made for them with no one from the agency seeking their input on how these decisions impact them or what their lives are like. Much of the talk when I arrived was around managing expectations, that we this project wasn't about entitlements and big ticket programs. The overwhelming request from families so far? To paraphrase: Please acknowledge that we're a part of this organization, too. We may not work here, but you didn't just hire an individual. Nobody's asked for anything truly "big ticket". Mostly, the requests have been for orientations to help people adjust and understand what's what when they relocate or for some sort of social gathering a few times a year to help connect families and the organization. "Just make us feel welcome," said one spouse, "instead of a burden." Sadly, I've been told I can't travel as an intern, so any hope of connecting in person with staff and families in the field is gone.
That's one interesting thing interning here at 36 and to be tasked with an atypical internship project. The head of my section has said she considers me not so much an intern as an unpaid consultant, since that's who might otherwise be undertaking this project. "My gosh, it's a great deal for us to have you here," she said this week. Overall, I'm being treated very much as a professional by everyone, which has been gratifying. Frankly, I've too often missed that feeling over the last two years while in my program. However, there have been moments of frustration. It's been a bit of a struggle to be approved for even a long-distance phone code - needed to speak to people in the field (many of whom I cannot connect with via Skype) - since these are not usually granted interns. Things are working out in the end and most everybody has been very helpful, but there are definitely observations to be made on hierarchy, pecking orders and politics. I have three and a half very busy months ahead.
Now, as to the introspection and introversion. Introversion first. Outside the office, I spend quite a bit of time alone. This is not a complaint, mind you. I've finally picked up my camera and my pen again and gotten to work. Thankfully walking the city with a camera or sitting on a park bench with a notebook and pencil remain free and thus well within my meager budget. I'll likely have some more things to share here soon. However, living ever more in my own head these days means I'm also a bit out of practice in interacting with people. It may sound strange, but as much as you get winded on the stairs when you're out of shape physically, you can get just as exhausted talking with people when you're in a relatively silent period. Again, not a complaint but an observation. I think a silent period is actually quite good for me. Hasn't really helped quiet my mind, though.
The silence helps with the introspection, though. As I get very close to finishing my master's I am inevitably beginning to think of what's next. The trouble is I'm not sure anymore. Luckily, working in Staff Welfare means I'm surround by three people who are very good at helping. My direct supervisor suggested I work with a colleague in career management and she's been wonderful. I was initially just happy she would take time to help an intern, but then to have her insist we work through the whole process has been great. I wandered into our first meeting with my CV in hand, expecting to just get some help with that, but she rightfully suggested we take it back to the basics. Right now I'm working on some exercises around identifying values, skills and competencies.
The bigger question underneath my uncertainty is, as The Clash asks, "Should I stay or should I go?" and relates to the bigger issue of still not knowing where I belong in this big old world. What's possible and what makes sense for my future seems comparably minor; logistics are easier to deal with than existential crisis. In actuality, there's not really a decision to be made at the point. I'm not being bombarded with offers and I've not really reached out to anybody yet. What I'm thinking about a lot these days are the comments of friends, colleagues and acquaintances I've met working abroad. The gist? "You want to help us, go back and fix your country!" And, what a state my country is in these days. It's not the first time I've raised these sorts of questions, but this time the questions seem somewhat more dire, as though this is the time to get the answers right, if there are any right answers to be had. Where and how can you be most effective at helping foster positive change? What are the things you want out of life? What are you willing to give up to get them? Are you walking away from things or towards them? Oh, and, how will you pay the bills (including those damned student loans)?
I've never quite grasped how or why people end up at this blog (other than my mom) and that may be a good thing in that I just put up what I do without trying to write for anyone. So, I'll just keep rambling on and I hope you stick with me and maybe offer up a comment or two someday.
Peace/سلام
Listening to: Helplessness Blues by Fleet Foxes; Wonder Why We Ever Go Home by Jimmy Buffett
Excited about: Chamber music concert at St. Peter's Cathedral Friday night (finally they grant me a student discount!)
It's been a month since I put anything up here? Really? I'd honestly imagined I'd posted something in between, but apparently not. It's a busy time and, at the same time, a quiet time of introversion and introspection.
My project for my internship at UNHCR is off and running. The response has been wonderful, well beyond what anyone expected and a bit overwhelming. Right now, I'm trying to keep up with replying to emails from staff & families wanting to participate and scheduling everybody for interviews. I believe I've mentioned here earlier that I consider this a bit similar to community work I've done in the U.S. and MENA with marginalized communities. These families have many decisions in life made for them with no one from the agency seeking their input on how these decisions impact them or what their lives are like. Much of the talk when I arrived was around managing expectations, that we this project wasn't about entitlements and big ticket programs. The overwhelming request from families so far? To paraphrase: Please acknowledge that we're a part of this organization, too. We may not work here, but you didn't just hire an individual. Nobody's asked for anything truly "big ticket". Mostly, the requests have been for orientations to help people adjust and understand what's what when they relocate or for some sort of social gathering a few times a year to help connect families and the organization. "Just make us feel welcome," said one spouse, "instead of a burden." Sadly, I've been told I can't travel as an intern, so any hope of connecting in person with staff and families in the field is gone.
That's one interesting thing interning here at 36 and to be tasked with an atypical internship project. The head of my section has said she considers me not so much an intern as an unpaid consultant, since that's who might otherwise be undertaking this project. "My gosh, it's a great deal for us to have you here," she said this week. Overall, I'm being treated very much as a professional by everyone, which has been gratifying. Frankly, I've too often missed that feeling over the last two years while in my program. However, there have been moments of frustration. It's been a bit of a struggle to be approved for even a long-distance phone code - needed to speak to people in the field (many of whom I cannot connect with via Skype) - since these are not usually granted interns. Things are working out in the end and most everybody has been very helpful, but there are definitely observations to be made on hierarchy, pecking orders and politics. I have three and a half very busy months ahead.
Now, as to the introspection and introversion. Introversion first. Outside the office, I spend quite a bit of time alone. This is not a complaint, mind you. I've finally picked up my camera and my pen again and gotten to work. Thankfully walking the city with a camera or sitting on a park bench with a notebook and pencil remain free and thus well within my meager budget. I'll likely have some more things to share here soon. However, living ever more in my own head these days means I'm also a bit out of practice in interacting with people. It may sound strange, but as much as you get winded on the stairs when you're out of shape physically, you can get just as exhausted talking with people when you're in a relatively silent period. Again, not a complaint but an observation. I think a silent period is actually quite good for me. Hasn't really helped quiet my mind, though.
The silence helps with the introspection, though. As I get very close to finishing my master's I am inevitably beginning to think of what's next. The trouble is I'm not sure anymore. Luckily, working in Staff Welfare means I'm surround by three people who are very good at helping. My direct supervisor suggested I work with a colleague in career management and she's been wonderful. I was initially just happy she would take time to help an intern, but then to have her insist we work through the whole process has been great. I wandered into our first meeting with my CV in hand, expecting to just get some help with that, but she rightfully suggested we take it back to the basics. Right now I'm working on some exercises around identifying values, skills and competencies.
The bigger question underneath my uncertainty is, as The Clash asks, "Should I stay or should I go?" and relates to the bigger issue of still not knowing where I belong in this big old world. What's possible and what makes sense for my future seems comparably minor; logistics are easier to deal with than existential crisis. In actuality, there's not really a decision to be made at the point. I'm not being bombarded with offers and I've not really reached out to anybody yet. What I'm thinking about a lot these days are the comments of friends, colleagues and acquaintances I've met working abroad. The gist? "You want to help us, go back and fix your country!" And, what a state my country is in these days. It's not the first time I've raised these sorts of questions, but this time the questions seem somewhat more dire, as though this is the time to get the answers right, if there are any right answers to be had. Where and how can you be most effective at helping foster positive change? What are the things you want out of life? What are you willing to give up to get them? Are you walking away from things or towards them? Oh, and, how will you pay the bills (including those damned student loans)?
I've never quite grasped how or why people end up at this blog (other than my mom) and that may be a good thing in that I just put up what I do without trying to write for anyone. So, I'll just keep rambling on and I hope you stick with me and maybe offer up a comment or two someday.
Peace/سلام
08 February, 2011
Wael Ghonim's DreamTV Interview (w/ENGL subtitles)
"I want to tell every mother and father that lost a son, I'm sorry but it's not our fault. I swear to God, it's not our fault. It's the fault of everyone who held onto power and clung to it."
Everyone should take a few minutes to watch this interview with one of Egypt's best bloggers, Wael Ghonim, released yesterday after being held illegally for 12 days by his government. For what? For loving his country and speaking truths to try to change it for the better.
Peace/سلام
Turns out the revolution WILL be televised
Much love to everyone in Egypt.
Finally heard from people and they're alright, still hoping for change.
Peace/سلام
04 February, 2011
Meanwhile, back in land of cheese & chocolate...
A few random, relatively pointless things from Geneve...
Happy dance due to: ticket acquired to Patti Smith's 18 FEB show. Woot! By the way, go read "Just Kids" - fabulous read.
Appreciating the juxtaposition of: Headline banners on the vending machines for two local newspapers today: resurgence of syphilis amongst Geneva prostitutes aaaaand 50 new pedestrian pathways planned.
Recently admitted, newly developed irrational loves: 1) proud old men in berets (extra points for big, thick glasses) 2) the city-wide army of accordion players (& the occasional stand-up bass or sax player) performing on public transit.
Wondering about: the luxury car dealership on Rue de Lausanne that literally overnight became a shoe wholesaler. Big signs still up for Ferrari & Maserati, but the cars are gone, replaced by stacks of shoe boxes. Hard times, I guess.
Amused by: the video screens throughout the small shopping center across the street that constantly stream a count of how many millions of kilos of cheese and chocolate are currently being consumed in Switzerland.
Peace/سلام
30 January, 2011
Shameless love letter
"Aren't you scared?"
"Weren't you afraid?"
These are the two responses I'm met with when people hear I've lived in the Middle East and North Africa. Same questions now as when I returned from Morocco in 2002. And I give the same, emphatic answer: "No! Never."
As an American of European descent, I guess I'm not appropriately terrified of the Arab world.
I'm still trying to craft a truly effective "elevator speech" to explain how I feel about the MENA and her people. I want to sit people down, make them tea, and tell them stories, but I usually never have the chance. And, too often I know they're not really listening to my response anyway. You can physically see them loose focus, interest, when the stereotypes aren't confirmed.
When I say I enjoy living in the region and have so much respect and love for the people there, it's not denying there aren't critical issues to be dealt with: of poverty, gender, lack of rights and freedoms, corruption and mismanagement, unemployment, education systems in dire need of reform, class conflict, labyrinthine bureaucracies, environmental issues...The list is long.
But then there are the possibilities, which too many people just don't seem to see. And the main source of possibility for me comes from the people, people like we're seeing take to the streets in Tunis, Egypt, Yemen, and Jordan. People my age or younger, especially: friends, colleagues, students. A huge part of society with few choices and few outlets, who know they deserve better than they're getting. The energy, ideas, humor, creativity, grace and determination shared with me over the years has been at times remarkable. Not to say any of it was unexpected or that it doesn't exist elsewhere in the world, but it's been wonderful to have a chair pulled up to the table, to be welcomed and made a part of the conversation.
I can only hope to be afforded the opportunity to get back there soon and continue working with the people - not for, never in place of - to improve lives and communities. To be able to do so would be an honor.
Sitting here in Geneva, watching the scenes unfold this week, I hope the energy, camaraderie, grit, and community evidenced in Egypt will help convey a bit of what keeps drawing me back to the region and counter the fears and myths that cloud the thinking of too many.
I hope for the best, for a better future, for a day when my own country will redefine "stability" in their foreign policy lexicon, when friends in the region won't have to wave me out of public buildings before we talk about certain subjects, when peaceful demonstrations are not set upon by an army of thugs, when people can express themselves freely...
Power to the people.
Peace/سلام
Meanwhile, back at HQ...
Hunkering down to: Work my way back through all my Arabic textbooks. Gotta keep moving forward somehow!
Marveling at: a country that shuts down at 7pm every night and every Sunday. Consequently missing days of strolling the streets and stopping for kunefa late at night in Cham or Cairo.
Trying to: Knock out the last of my class work and get it the heck out of the way!
Marveling at: a country that shuts down at 7pm every night and every Sunday. Consequently missing days of strolling the streets and stopping for kunefa late at night in Cham or Cairo.
Trying to: Knock out the last of my class work and get it the heck out of the way!
Lesson learned (again): Don't shop based on pictures on package. What looks like yogurt may turn out to be some form of cheese. Though quark magro is a cool name. Sounds like something they're working on at CERN.
Work-wise, this week has focused on developing the initial surveys for my project. We'll hopefully soon get surveys out to international UNHCR staff and their families both here at HQ and in the field. The organization defines international staff at those not working in their home countries. While there is an admitted schism(s) between national and international staff here, we had to look at boundaries for this project given the time and resource constraints. That said, I certainly hope a similar assessment will be conducted for the families of national staff in the near future.
Still trying to connect with Staff Welfare officers in the field. Their input and assistance will be important and I am interested to hear what they are encountering with staff.
I've connected with the local organization for expat spouses of UN staff, who are thrilled somebody is taking an interest in their lives and challenges. Likely speaking at their meeting later this week.
Slow going, but this initial phase is about building solid foundations for the rest of the project. I just hope I don't get too stalled, given that I'm only here until June. Most people's response to the project, though positive, has been, "So how many years do you have to get this done?"
One interesting thing last week was joining an informal dinner out with the Staff Welfare folks from several organizations, including WTO, WMO, ITU, and others. Really diverse and interesting group, not to mention fun. I'd no idea this element existed with these organizations. Though critical, they remain small, underfunded posts and could, should, be able to do more.
Again, a very interesting internship from the perspective that I get to see how this place works and doesn't.
Hopefully, I can play a small part in helping it work better. Not only for staff and families, but for the people they're trying to serve under the mandate.
Peace/سلام
Work-wise, this week has focused on developing the initial surveys for my project. We'll hopefully soon get surveys out to international UNHCR staff and their families both here at HQ and in the field. The organization defines international staff at those not working in their home countries. While there is an admitted schism(s) between national and international staff here, we had to look at boundaries for this project given the time and resource constraints. That said, I certainly hope a similar assessment will be conducted for the families of national staff in the near future.
Still trying to connect with Staff Welfare officers in the field. Their input and assistance will be important and I am interested to hear what they are encountering with staff.
I've connected with the local organization for expat spouses of UN staff, who are thrilled somebody is taking an interest in their lives and challenges. Likely speaking at their meeting later this week.
Slow going, but this initial phase is about building solid foundations for the rest of the project. I just hope I don't get too stalled, given that I'm only here until June. Most people's response to the project, though positive, has been, "So how many years do you have to get this done?"
One interesting thing last week was joining an informal dinner out with the Staff Welfare folks from several organizations, including WTO, WMO, ITU, and others. Really diverse and interesting group, not to mention fun. I'd no idea this element existed with these organizations. Though critical, they remain small, underfunded posts and could, should, be able to do more.
Again, a very interesting internship from the perspective that I get to see how this place works and doesn't.
Hopefully, I can play a small part in helping it work better. Not only for staff and families, but for the people they're trying to serve under the mandate.
Peace/سلام
Don't believe the hype
As usual, some news outlets and talking heads are freaking out at images of Arabs rising up. Usually, these are the same folks who equate the word Arab with the word Muslim and the word Muslim with the word terrorist.
This is an uprising of all Egyptians: Muslim, Christian and everybody else.
I'm not claiming expert status in any way. I'm not Tunisian, not Egyptian, not Yemeni....They're your experts. I'm just somebody who's lived in the region, loves and respects the people and is working hard to get back there for good. That said, I want to address those who are jumping on the Al Qaeda, Islamic extremist, "trying to bring back the Caliphate" bandwagon in their comments about what happened in Tunisia and is unfolding in Egypt.
You know what Tunisia's revolt was about? Rights & poverty. A socio-economic situation so bad a young man with a college education, Mohamed Bouazizi, who could only find work selling produce in the streets, set himself on fire in desperate protest. He died a few days later of his injuries and a lot of us wish he had lived to see what followed.
You want to know what Egypt's about? Rights & poverty. About HALF the population lives in poverty. You want to understand why some people torched police stations? Google Khalid Saeed and see what happened to him (and countless others) in police custody.
This isn't a religious uprising, it's a HUMAN one.
As to the chaos, reports from on the ground from actual people are reporting that the people are organizing themselves to deal with things. The people of Egypt and the MENA have had to find ways to make life work no matter what for centuries. They've gotten pretty damn good at it. There's a slight flavor of post-Katrina coverage to some of these reports and that's not good.
Nobody has any idea how this will all shake out. I sure don't. Though it seems more and more pundits are saying there's no way Hosni can stay. Also, extra factoid of the day, his new VP ran OUR country's secret rendition program in Egypt. Goodness, I can't fathom why the people aren't satisfied with this shuffling of the deck.
Just please don't listen to folks who are all about "bringing democracy to the Middle East" via invasions, but loose it when people rise up and try to get it for themselves. Things don't happen in a vacuum. We've given billions in aid to many of these repressive governments, Egypt first and foremost. People there do not hate us. This is what I have to explain most often and will keep saying it until people really get it. However, they sure don't get our schizoid policies - speaking about democracy while propping up dictators. And they sure don't like getting pelted with tear gas canisters that read "Made in the USA".
Anyway, for what it's worth...
Power to the people.
Peace/سلام
This is an uprising of all Egyptians: Muslim, Christian and everybody else.
I'm not claiming expert status in any way. I'm not Tunisian, not Egyptian, not Yemeni....They're your experts. I'm just somebody who's lived in the region, loves and respects the people and is working hard to get back there for good. That said, I want to address those who are jumping on the Al Qaeda, Islamic extremist, "trying to bring back the Caliphate" bandwagon in their comments about what happened in Tunisia and is unfolding in Egypt.
Nothing is ever simple and life is painted in grays. That said, there is a lot that doesn't get discussed out the region in the US media.
You know what Tunisia's revolt was about? Rights & poverty. A socio-economic situation so bad a young man with a college education, Mohamed Bouazizi, who could only find work selling produce in the streets, set himself on fire in desperate protest. He died a few days later of his injuries and a lot of us wish he had lived to see what followed.
You want to know what Egypt's about? Rights & poverty. About HALF the population lives in poverty. You want to understand why some people torched police stations? Google Khalid Saeed and see what happened to him (and countless others) in police custody.
This isn't a religious uprising, it's a HUMAN one.
As to the chaos, reports from on the ground from actual people are reporting that the people are organizing themselves to deal with things. The people of Egypt and the MENA have had to find ways to make life work no matter what for centuries. They've gotten pretty damn good at it. There's a slight flavor of post-Katrina coverage to some of these reports and that's not good.
Nobody has any idea how this will all shake out. I sure don't. Though it seems more and more pundits are saying there's no way Hosni can stay. Also, extra factoid of the day, his new VP ran OUR country's secret rendition program in Egypt. Goodness, I can't fathom why the people aren't satisfied with this shuffling of the deck.
Just please don't listen to folks who are all about "bringing democracy to the Middle East" via invasions, but loose it when people rise up and try to get it for themselves. Things don't happen in a vacuum. We've given billions in aid to many of these repressive governments, Egypt first and foremost. People there do not hate us. This is what I have to explain most often and will keep saying it until people really get it. However, they sure don't get our schizoid policies - speaking about democracy while propping up dictators. And they sure don't like getting pelted with tear gas canisters that read "Made in the USA".
Anyway, for what it's worth...
Power to the people.
Peace/سلام
29 January, 2011
Ain't No Power Like the Power of the People
No idea where this is from, but pulled it from my Twitter feed. If anyone knows who to credit, let me know. Must say it was good to help out with friends' kids today. A day wrestling and playing football with a 2 and 5 year-old is good for clearing one's head. Spending another quality night with the people of Egypt (or at least the many info streams) while I knock out the last of my final course work so I can get on to bigger & better things.
Peace/سلام
28 January, 2011
أنا مع مصر
What a powerful image (click to enlarge). Trying to sort my thoughts on today.Went into a late afternoon meeting just hoping not to emerge to news of a bloodbath. Just home from work and watching any feed I can.
Thinking of the streets I walked (and sometimes got happily lost in), now filled with tear gas and APCs. Remembering the little girl, who I had to challenge to an eating contest to get her to finish her kushari while her mother tried to contain her laughter. Thinking of the 18 and 19 year-old social work students I met at Helwan University, who adopted me at a conference. What will tomorrow bring for that bright, energetic, hopeful and hysterically funny group of young Egyptians (Muslims and Christians, it didn't matter to them a bit)? Thinking about hanging out on the bridges over the Nile, where today there have been running battles. Thinking about the friend I stayed with last March and hoping to hear from hear back from her soon. Just thinking about how much I miss the place, how much I love the people...
It's going to be a long night. And whatever comes, this is just the beginning.
My thoughts and hopes are with all of Egypt, all of the Middle East.
Peace/سلام
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